


Changing the Now

by badwriters



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies), bechloe - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst and Humor, Bechloe Family AU, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, PP2, Pitch Perfect 2, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-08 21:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4322112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwriters/pseuds/badwriters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know what I have to do. I'll stop them from falling in love then everything else won't have to happen. If only to keep my mom alive, if only to save my mom from the pain of losing her. Even if it means erasing me in the future. Wait, what? Shit.I</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own PP2. The Bechloe family AU I got from somewhere around Tumblr. Also, Maddie as Emily's sister I got from there.

_Mom, please wake up. Mom! Mom! Please, wake up._

And they began taking me away, away from my mom.

_No, don't. I wanna stay! Let go of me!_

I was fighting them, whoever they were. I didn't want to leave my mom. Not like this.

_Let go of me! Mom, wake up! Please wake up!_

I was fighting them in between sobs.

"Emily," I heard a faint whisper. And I was still fighting. Who? I wasn't so sure. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I sat up catching my breath, tears were flowing. I looked at the source of the whisper, it was my mom. Well, my other mom. Beca. Beca Mitchell. I looked at her and I saw the pain in her eyes, the pain that never left ever since.. ever since. I sobbed. No, I cried. Wait, I was bawling. It just really hurt even after so many years. My mom tried wiping some of the tears away and gave me a warm embrace. There was a faint smell of alcohol. I hugged her back, I held her tight. My door gently opened, I knew because a bit of light peeked through it. I looked up and I saw my sister, it was Maddie.

Maddie.

Her red locks reminded me so much of  _her._ Her eyes. She got her eyes from  _her._ Her eyes were a bright blue, with eyelashes so long. She was a mini  _her_ , they said. They were red from crying, I just knew. She would usually wipe it before showing herself to other people. She didn't want them seeing her cry. My mom saw her and ushered her to come over. She walked slowly, trying to stop herself from crying when my mom, our mom, pulled her in for an embrace. "Hey you," She whispered, tucking a loose red lock behind her ear. "Had a bad dream too?"

Maddie just nodded. Our mom tried her darn best to hug us both, even with her tiny frame (and I mean tiny. Sometimes I even wonder how in the world I came out of her and then I remember. Right, I didn't. You see, I'm adopted. I met my two new moms when I was five and I've had the best life ever since. Well, not until my mom... You know.) I hated seeing us three like this. We were all in pain. We all felt sorrow. We wanted  _her_  back.

It was in the midst of the presence of my family, my sister Maddie and my mom Beca, when it hit me. I wanted the pain to go away. And if only I could travel back in time to change the course of history (or the future, it's really confusing), I would. It doesn't even matter if my parents don't end up together, as long as they're both alive. At least I know they're there. That's enough for me.

So there I was, browsing through the internet at 2AM. Who would have thought googling "Time machine for rent" would yield millions of results. If only time traveling was as simple as driving a car through a thunderstorm like in that movie, Back to the Future. Sheesh, I've been hanging out too much with Uncle Jessie.

It was weird when I held it in my hand. I didn't expect it to be so… tiny, like a troll. No, a troll is too big. More like a… fairy. Yeah, that's it. But really, it's a chip as in like a microchip. Who would have thought time machines could be this small and unassuming?

"So I just hold this in my hand?" I asked the old man. Well, he wasn't really that old.

"Yes." He answered with a thick accent of something, I couldn't tell.

"And then…?" These things should come with a manual.

"You just think the period you want to go to and poof, you move back in time."

"And that's it?"

"Yes."

"How does it know?"

"You would not understand so I won't even try explaining to you."

"How do I get back to the now?"

"You use the same chip. But chip can only be used twice. One traveling to past. The other to get back."

"Have you tried it?"

"Before, yes."

"Oh, what was it like?" Aside from a manual, it would be better to have free demos.

"Like a heated mess. You don't want to know."

"Oh, but I do want to know."

"Let's just say, I've been racking my brain how to undo what happened because the effect was too messy."

"What do you mean? Can't you just go back and undo what you did?"

This incredibly tall man, who called himself Flula, gave out a laugh. "Crazy youngster. Rule number 1 in time travelling. If you've done something in the past, you can't undo it directly."

"What do you mean, directly?"

"Okay, for example. You meet the past you as you travel in the, well, past. And that event has had repercussions in the future, the now. You can't go back in time to not meet yourself. Someone else must do something to prevent that from happening. So, you indirectly undo the deed." He emphasized the word indirectly.

"What happens if I don't follow that?"

"More heated mess. There will be chaos. Crazy youngster, just listen to me. Don't even try thinking about it, it will make your head hurt."

"Okay… how do I know if I have changed anything?"

"You will know. Trust me, you will know."

"How?"

"You will know."

"Okay. So... how do I know if this will actually work?"

"Haven't you seen the feedback on my site? I'm a trusted seller."

"Yeah, but…okay. How much is it again?"

"For you, free. I give you free chip just once, okay?"

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Positive. Now you go now, before I change my mind." He was ushering me out of the coffee shop we were in.

I stepped out into the park and looked at my surroundings. I'll be leaving this time soon. And I couldn't believe it. I was about to time travel! A part of me was excited. I mean, how different will it be, the now from the past? A bigger part of me, though, was scared as hell. I began walking towards my house. If I was going to do this, I had to do it soon before I changed my mind because thoughts were racing in my head.

 _What if I don't get back? What if I'm stuck in the past? What if I end up in a period that I'm not supposed to be in, like, what if I meet Jesus? Oh God. I mean, Oh Jesus. What if it doesn't change anything?_   _And what did he mean I will know?_

 _What exactly is my plan anyway? Go back in time and prevent the accident from happening? But I can't undo what I did._ I cringed at the thought, I can't undo what I did.

_Mom, look out!_

_We were rushing to the hospital. My mom was about to go into labor and my other mom was on tour with a new artist. She didn't want to go on that tour because my mom was expecting in a few weeks and she wanted to be there when it happened but she couldn't. My mom wasn't supposed to go into labor, not until the following week. So when she woke me up in the middle of the night, telling me we had to go to the hospital stat, I wasn't sure what to do._

_She drove like a crazy woman (well, she is sometimes. No, she was. She was, sometimes.)And I must have been sleepy or dreaming or something, but there was something or someone that suddenly appeared, as in magically appeared in the middle of the road. And that's when I shouted, "Mom, look out!"_

_I grabbed the wheel and turned it. I must have done something wrong (I was eleven) because we hit the oncoming traffic. I blacked out after that._

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I can't undo what I did. That tall man made that clear. So, I can't travel to that period.

_But I need to stop the accident from happening. So I need to stop what happened before that. I had to stop my mom from going into labor? So I would need to figure out when they both decided they wanted a second child. But, I'll be erasing Maddie._

_Oh, I know._

_What if, I travel to the period when they finally got together? Like when they got married. What if I prevent that from happening? Oh wait, I know what I have to do. I'll stop them from falling in love then everything else won't have to happen. If only to keep my mom alive, if only to save my mom from the pain of losing her. Even if it means erasing me in the future. Wait, what? Shit._


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't Chlo, you're drunk." "I'll be fine, Becs!" "Chloe, no. You'll just hurt yourself." "Becs, sometimes, you just have to let go and let things happen." She gave her a wink and just like that, she jumped. And it wasn't an ordinary jump, it was like a jump jump. A jump of a lifetime. A jump for freedom. No, it wasn't a jump, it was more like a... leap. Yeah, that's more accurate. A leap. A leap of faith. A leap, a crazy leap, hoping she can fly so she doesn't hit the pavement. Or, a leap, a crazy leap, hoping to god someone catches her because it would be so god damn painful if no one does.

I was staring the first time I saw my mom... alive. She was so full of life, so vibrant, just the way I remembered her. And I may have stared a bit too long, I had to snap myself out of it unless I wanted them to think I was ogling. Oh God, I wasn't going to let them think I had a thing for my mom. God, no.

I wanted to embrace her, to feel her.  _Okay, that sounded wrong._  I wanted her to embrace me. It took everything in me to stop myself from running to her and placing my long arms around her. Because honestly, I missed her. I miss her. And I would give everything to feel the warmth of her embrace, to be able to feel that again.

I didn't really have much of a plan, I wasn't even sure if I was in the right period. I actually thought they fell in love when my mom entered college, like 3 years earlier than the period I was in. But as the tall man had said, the microchip actually knew more than I did. I mean, what do I know?

So there I was, in my first ever college party. Apparently, it was an  _accapellar only_ party according to Fat Amy.

The first time I saw my other mom, Beca, was funny. I almost called out to her as "Mom", good thing I caught myself. I knew she was small, but the person who was in front of me was not small, she was tiny!

The night was becoming uneventful as I stood there, not in the shadows but in the midst of everyone else and it felt like I almost did not exist. Well, technically, I really did not exist at  _that_ time- in that period. You get me.

I was looking... more like staring and watching like a hawk...at both my moms laughing in one corner acting like two teenagers in love. Wait, they were. Are. They are  _probably_. I wasn't sure what they were talking about, when I noticed the cup, that very bright yellow cup. I know that cup. We have that cup at home. My mom loved that yellow cup and I grew up with that yellow cup so then it only makes sense that I end up loving that yellow cup as well. I would usually see that yellow cup during parties at home, usually when my parents got together with the other Bellas. Aunt Aubrey would always tease my mom about that yellow cup saying that that cup reminded her of the time she fell in love with Beca.

* * *

_"Chloe, I think it's about time you retire that yellow cup." Aubrey had teased._

_"Why? It can still serve its purpose you know." Chloe answered as she rubbed little Emily's back as she yawned._

_"For sure, Chloe. It's been years. Place it in a glass case, that way you can stare at it and make yourself proud everyday. If you keep on using it, you'll end up having to throw it away." Aubrey added with a smirk._

_By this time, Beca and Fat Amy had joined the group._

_"Why does it need to be placed in a glass case, Aunt Aubrey?" Little Emily asked._

_"Because, sweetheart, that cup reminds your mom of the time she fell in love with your other mom, Beca." Aubrey answered in the sweetest way._

_"Yeah, that time she fell in love with Beca and her breasts. Red here was totally staring at this midget's bosom. If you know what I mean." Fat Amy added with a wink._

_Chloe immediately covered Emily's ears to save her from that piece of truth and Beca stared in horror at what had just been said._

_Everyone else just burst into laughter as the night continued._

_The next day, Emily saw Beca making a purchase online of a yellow Barden cup. And when that cup arrived, Beca had kept the old cup in a safe place and left the new cup on the table with a note, "A new cup for the Cup-tain of my heart. Kept the old one in the deepest depths of the ocean. XOXO"_

* * *

Wait, so if it's the yellow cup. It must mean they fell in love when my mom entered college, when she had just joined the Bellas. So why the hell am I here three years later?! Stupid timechip. Oh well, might as well make the most of it. As Aunt Aubrey would say, "As my father would always say, a chance passed is a chance passed. But a chance taken, is a chance all yours." I know, it doesn't make sense either.

I kept on staring at the yellow cup. Maybe I could do something to the cup, like... steal it? Okay, that's such a stupid and lame idea.

Then it hit me. I left the person who was trying to talk to me about some piglet, I wasn't sure who that was, and went inside to look for some drinks.

Make my mom drunk enough to just sleep it off later in the night, to prevent them from talking further. Okay, so that's really not the best thought out plan but at least it's a start. I mean, if you've seen them giggling earlier, you just know something's happening between them. I went outside to look for them, they were still giggling and I knew my mom, Chloe, was already a bit drunk, she was holding on to my other mom, Beca, for support. She was telling a story about something and my mom, Beca, I just knew she was trying to catch every single word she was saying. I knew that look, her eyes staring intently at my other mom and there was a small smile on her lips. It felt nice seeing them like that, seeing them like they are so much in love. Oh wait, maybe they are so much in love.

I had to snap out of it and get enough courage to walk up to them. "Hey, um, so, how are you guys?" I asked, awkwardly, if I may add. My mom, Beca, was smiling, you know that smile with teeth, she looked genuinely happy, but it gently faded when I walked up to them.  _Well, I'm sorry for interrupting your alone time, but I'm trying to save one of you from dying and the other one from living a miserable life, okay?!_

"Hey, Emily! You've met Beca, right?" Chloe was cheery. Yep, that's my mom all right. "Oh, yeah, yeah."

"You doing okay?" Beca asked me. "Oh, totes." And I couldn't help but smile as both of them had that look, like a surprised but amused look. I shouldn't have used totes, totes making it obvious I'm their child from the future.

"Oh my god, Chloe. Is she like your daughter?" Beca was smiling, obviously amused at the exchange. My heartbeat may have went into overdrive upon hearing that but Chloe just laughed it off and then Beca joined her. And then there it was again, Chloe was holding Beca's hand. It wasn't just touching, it was holding. It felt so intimate. And I suddenly felt intrusive.

"Chloe, would you like some more to drink?" I asked, looking at the yellow cup. "Oh, sure, okay. That's so sweet of you, Em." And my heart felt smug upon hearing that. That was actually what my parents called me.

I wasn't sure what time it was, but I noticed everyone was dancing by the pool. Everyone was going crazy, dancing and laughing and drinking and dancing some more. My parents were dancing right in the middle of everyone. There was even a point where my mom, Chloe, was slapping my other mom's butt.  _Gross._

And I wasn't sure what was happening but Chloe was suddenly taking off her clothes.  _Double gross. Oh, she's wearing something underneath. Good._ I swear, sometimes, I feel like I'm the parent in this family. Both my moms were acting really crazy and then people started chanting, "Do it! Do it! Do it!"  _Do what?!_  I overheard Beca, as she held on to Chloe's forearms, "Don't Chlo, you're drunk." "I'll be fine, Becs!" "Chloe, no. You'll just hurt yourself." "Becs, sometimes, you just have to let go and let things happen." She gave her a wink and just like that, she jumped. And it wasn't an ordinary jump, it was like a jump jump. A jump of a lifetime. A jump for freedom. No, it wasn't a jump, it was more like a... leap. Yeah, that's more accurate. A leap. A leap of faith. A leap, a crazy leap, hoping she can fly so she doesn't hit the pavement. Or, a leap, a crazy leap, hoping to god someone catches her because it would be so god damn painful if no one does.

Everyone was cheering as she hit the water. I was so entranced by her sudden leap that I didn't notice the piglet that came running after her and I could hear Benjie yelling, "Abner, no!". The piglet jumped into the water swimming towards my mom and I could see the look in her eyes as she panicked upon seeing it. I'm assuming my other mom, Beca, saw this too because she immediately jumped in the water to go after Chloe who may have swallowed some water as she struggled away form Abner. She grabbed the piglet and let it swim in another direction. At that moment, everyone grew quiet. I stood up, grabbing the towels on the lawn.  _I know, incredible coincidence, right?_ I walked towards them and as I walked nearer, I overheard Beca as she soothed my mom's back, "It's okay, Chlo. It's okay. I'm here." Jessie extended the cleaning pole to Beca and pulled them in as she grabbed it, with Chloe in tow.

I handed them the towels and Beca draped the first two over my mom's. I caught Uncle Jessie's, Jessie's, eyes as he looked at them. I looked at them too, and the way Beca treated my mom, the way she tried to calm her down by rubbing her back and then her shoulders, it felt so intimate. Again, I felt like I was intruding so I left. Jessie may have felt the same because I saw him walk away as well.

Beca slept in Chloe's room that night. I know because I was supposed to room with Chloe because hers was the only one with an extra bed. Fat Amy asked me if I wanted to sleep with her in their room, "To give Bhloe some privacy," she told me. And I just lay there awake on my mother's bed.  _Way to go, Emily. Way to break them up. Now they're sleeping together. Who knows what they're doing now. Gross._

Thoughts were running through my head. Like, what if I fail at breaking them up but still make drastic changes in the future? I mean, who knows. My interaction with everyone in this century, okay I'm exaggerating a bit, could have only-god-knows-what effects in the future.

I was staring at the wall, well, the cork board actually, when I noticed the piece of paper with eyes drawn on them. I got up and picked it up. Fat Amy must have seen me because then she spoke, "Beca doesn't really draw. She can't even to save her life." She sat on her bed and faced me.

"Why would she draw these?" I was perplexed. It was weird seeing drawings of eyes, not even pairs of eyes. Just one eye. But lots of them.

"Have you ever been drawn to someone so bad?"

I scrunched my face, much like how my mom does when she's asked a bizarre question.

"Okay, so that's a no then."

"Why do you ask?" I wasn't so sure where the conversation was going.

"Like, when there's this person you enjoy spending time with. But you stop yourself from going deeper, just enough so that you don't drown."

_Oh god, mom was right. Aunt Amy turns into this sentimental wise old turtle at 2AM._

I stared at her, waiting for her to continue because who knows what this conversation is all about.  _Oh wait, is this about her and Uncle Bumper? If it didn't have any repercussions in the future, I'd totally let her know they're fine in the future. They actually do have a family. Only she doesn't become a professional wrestler or something. I'd just tell her, go with the flow dude. It all turns out well in the end._

"You know in your heart of hearts, like if your heart had a heart, that's the heart I'm talking about. The heart of hearts. Or maybe, the heart of heart?" She continued.

And I just stared. I was kinda lost.

"You know in your heart of hearts that if you go further, everything would change. And you're so afraid of that change because what if that change isn't what you wanted. What if in that process, you lose the person you are drawn to. We wouldn't want that, right?"

"No, we wouldn't want that." I whispered, still at a loss.

"So, you end up capturing everything about the person. Because you need to cope with your need to be with that person without the changes you're afraid of happening. You deal with it by capturing every moment, every hour and every minute of every day you have with that person."

And I stared at the piece of paper with eyes on them. It brought me back to a memory in the future.  _I know, it's weird because usually a memory is from the past but in this case my memory is of the future._ _Time travelling is confusing and amazing me all at the same time, okay._

* * *

_"What do you like most about mom, like on a physical aspect?" I asked my other mom, Beca, one time a she drove me to school._

_"Everything." She answered._

_"No, really. If there's one thing."_

_She sighed. I know I should not have asked. Memories of my mom brought her pain. Brought us pain._

_"You know what, mom, forget I asked."_

_"It's her eyes." She looked at me as we stopped at an intersection and then smiled._

_"She had the perfect eyes, clear as the sky. I could just get lost in them. What I'd give to see those eyes again looking back at me, back at us."_

* * *

I snapped back to reality. She was trying to draw my mom's eyes. My eyes were tearing up upon the realization. What she was feeling for my mom, it would all turn into an unbearable sorrow. I didn't want her to feel that pain.

"That is why," Fat Amy continued as if reading my mind, "I never commit to anyone. I'm a free-range pony that can't be tamed." And then she makes these hoof sounds, which was far from sounding like it.

So, I may have gotten lost in our conversation again. I wasn't sure anymore what she was trying to tell me. "Wait, so these eyes, they're something I'd like to go back to. Why was Beca trying to draw these?"

"Oh, that I'm not so sure. Maybe she was bored. Or something. I don't know, really."

"Oh." was all I could answer. But if there's one thing I've learned from my moms, it's that Aunt Amy doesn't know how to lie. Her eyes begin to stare at random objects when she lies and that's what she just did. She knows something.

"Or maybe she was trying to draw someone's eyes?" I offered.

"What? No! Of course not. Whose eyes would she ever want to draw?"

I mumbled Chloe, she must have heard me but not understood so she asked, "What?"

"Nothing." I said with a smile.

"Okay, well, Legacy. It's time to sleep. It's almost 3AM. Goodnight. And stop rummaging through Beca's things. I'm the only who's allowed to do that. The $20 over there, they're mine." And she turned off her lamp before I could even answer.

* * *

The next time I tried "breaking them up" was pure chance. It was when we received that odd invite after my mom, I mean Beca, came home from work. Nobody else knew that she had an internship going on. I may have followed her that one time because I've always wondered what she's been doing after class. And then I found out she was interning at Residual Heat.

So we went to this really big mansion of this huge acapella fan, and there was this thing they called a sing-off? What was it again? I may have blew up the Bellas' chance of winning because I sang this song from the future, the only song I could comfortably sing, which was actually a song Beca wrote and produced. So, I'm not really sure how that messes up the future. After being eliminated, I tried apologizing to Chloe because she seemed the most upset, aside from Aunt Amy. I mean Fat Amy.

"I'm really sorry. I would understand if you just want me to crawl under a rock and die." I said.

My mom, I mean Beca, came to my rescue and said, "Hey, no..." and then turning to Chloe, "Hey, we don't want that." And she said it in the most caring and sweetest way and I could see the annoyed look on Chloe's face.  _My mom hates me, oh my god._

The ride back to the Bella house was pretty quiet, then it turned awkward when Aunt Amy spoke.

"Way to go Legacy."

"Hey now, Amy, come on." Beca answered.

I didn't know what to say.

"Stop it, Beca. You and I know we stood a chance there and if it wasn't for that song, we would not have lost." Chloe deadpanned.

It was odd seeing my mom, Chloe, act so cold.

"Chloe..."

"We badly needed this and we lost it."

Beca was about to open her mouth, but closed it immediately. She just sighed and kept quiet, choosing to not add to the fire.

The rest of the trip was quiet, even upon entering the house everyone was quiet.

Everyone moved to do their own thing and I just stood there by the door. I wasn't sure what to do because I was supposed to room with Chloe, but then, you know. Things are awkward right now.

But at least both of them are at odds with each other? So yey? My plan is working?

* * *

I was about to go up the staircase leading to Beca's attic room to ask if maybe I could sleep there when I overheard Chloe sigh.

"I'm sorry, Becs."

I went up a few more steps so I could see them. Chloe was seated on Beca's bed and Beca was seated on the floor. She closed her laptop, placed it on the side table and sat beside Chloe.

"It's fine Chlo. It's Emily you should apologize to, not me."

"You're right."

"I bet she'll sleep on the couch, too afraid to come near you Beale."

"Oh my god. I feel so terrible. What is happening to me?" She covered her face with her hands.

Beca laughed a little. "I think you may be turning into Aubrey."

"Oh god."

"I know, right?"

"No, oh god. You took my Polaroid!" Chloe pointing to the old-looking camera in one of the shelves next to the skateboard.  _Why in the world did my mom have a skateboard?_

"What? Oh..." Beca gave Chloe a sheepish smile.

"I've been looking for them for over a month!" Chloe playfully slapped Beca's arm.

"I didn't know they were there. Ow! Hey!"

"Why'd you take them, you thief." She continued to slap Beca's arm. "You could have just asked, you know."

Beca was smiling. "I must have been sleep walking."

"Yeah, right."

"No, I really think I have been." Beca tried to say in a straight face.

"So, you mean to say, you went inside my room while I was sleeping and took my camera?" Chloe asked with a smirk.

"Maybe." Beca answered.

"Creep." Chloe said, but obviously smiling. "So, aren't we going to talk about your budding romance with the Kommissar?"

"Ugh, god no."

Chloe giggled and I saw Beca stare at Chloe. Because knowing my mom, if there's one thing that she goes weak for, it's my mom's giggle or laughter.

"You're staring, Becs." Still with a smile on her face.

"I may have taken your camera hostage so that you'd have a reason to invade me here in my room." Beca confessed with her eyes closed.

And then I saw my mom, Chloe, her eyes, her smile, everything about her became soft. "Why?"

"Because, we've both been busy and I feel like it's been forever since we've spoken or hung out. I just... miss you, is all."

Chloe beamed at her and they just stared at each other for like, four seconds.

"Is Beca Mitchell finally showing emotions of a human being?" Chloe mocked.

It was Beca's time to slap her arm.

I went downstairs after that, because I felt like I was intruding again. And I felt bad because again, they're friends. I should feel good because they're friends. But that's not exactly the reason why I'm here.

Chloe apologized while I was in the kitchen preparing some warm milk, so I ended up sleeping in her room as planned.

* * *

_Mom, please wake up. Mom! Mom! Please, wake up._

And they began taking me away, away from my mom.

_No, don't. I wanna stay!_

I was fighting them, whoever they were. I didn't want to leave my mom. Not like this.

_Let go of me! Mom, wake up! Please wake up!_

I was fighting them in between sobs.

"Emily," I heard a faint whisper. "Em," she was calling me. And I was still fighting. Who? I wasn't so sure. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I sat up catching my breath, tears were flowing. I looked at the source of the whisper, it was my mom. Chloe. Chloe Beale. And then it hit me. I was in a different time.

She offered me a smile and a glass of water while she gently rubbed my back. And I couldn't fight the tears that were flowing from my eyes.  _If she only knew, god, if she only knew._

"Do you want to talk about it?" She offered with a soft smile.  _My mom was right, her eyes were really clear as the sky. It was like she was glowing._

When I didn't answer, she backtracked. "It's okay if you don't want to." she said, as she wiped the tears from my eyes. And my heart was about to explode with so many feels.  _In case you didn't know what feels are, they're feelings. That's how we say it in the future, okay. Don't judge._  I wanted to just tell her everything. How I'm from the future. How I'm actually her daughter. How she's going to die. And I'm here to change all that.

But I couldn't. I stopped myself.

"Thanks." I whispered.

She offered me a smile and asked me to just go back to sleep. I did. The thing is, she never left my side. She may have waited for me to fall back to sleep before going back to bed herself. And it was the safest I've felt in a long time.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You guys are like Pacman without the mouth, so you're just one big circle. If one of you goes missing, then you're Pacman with the mouth. And if you're Pacman with the mouth, you just go on running. Eating and chasing useless dots. Then cowardly run away when the ghosts are there. Would you like that, Beca? To become Pacman?"

It wasn't until the next day that I remembered what happened the night before. I assumed Chloe was already up when I woke up because her bed was already made. As I made my way down the kitchen, I was closely followed by Beca who may have tripped on a hamper by the hallway, "Stupid fu—" I heard her mutter.

It made me laugh a little because it was so much like my mom to be so grumpy early in the morning while my other mom, Chloe, would already be up and about. As my mom, Beca, always told me growing up, "She's such a ball of sunshine, your mom."

We both walked into the kitchen at the same time and Chloe was already there, seated at the kitchen counter, eating her breakfast while browsing on her laptop. I felt my mother stop on her tracks, I looked back at her and saw her staring. Not at me, at my mom, at Chloe. And I just had to look at Chloe to find out why she was staring.

Chloe was wearing a navy blue sleeveless and probably shorts underneath, her red hair was tied in a messy bun, her face was all cleared of make-up and yet she still glowed. Her eyes, her bright blue eyes, were staring at the screen of her laptop and her lips had a faint smile. But dear god, did my mother glow. It was probably the sun, shining through the window that added to her already glowing self.

I looked at Beca, who was stunned. She was dazed. She was speechless. And I just wanted to laugh out loud. She was soo in love. I wanted to tease her, but I wasn't sure if it was allowed. Were they even together? I was brought out of my thoughts when I suddenly heard, "Stop staring, she'll melt." Cynthia Rose added a wink after her statement. Beca may have been jolted out of her thoughts as well, I saw her bounce.

"Oh, she can stare all she want." Chloe suddenly said as she looked up and winked. And I'm willing to bet I saw my mother blush as she said, "You wish, Beale." after walking towards the kitchen sink to get a glass of water. Everything felt familiar. It felt so domesticated. It felt like home.

And then I heard Chloe mutter to herself, "You're right, I do."

"What?" Beca had asked. "Nothing."

And then I understood.  _I don't think they've told each other anything yet. I don't think they've admitted anything yet. And I think that is a good thing. Well, I'm sorry. My goal is to break them up._

* * *

After eating breakfast, I was cleaning up the kitchen when Cynthia Rose came up to me. "What's your deal?"

"Huh?" I honestly did not understand her question.

"What's your deal? I'm trying to understand."

"Trying to understand what exactly?" I seriously was confused. I swear, all of the Bellas confused the hell out of me.

"You! Don't get me wrong. I just notice things, you know. Do you like Beca? Do you like Chloe?"

 _What?! Okay, I may have forgotten to say that out loud._  "What?! No! God, no!"

"Hey, they're not that repulsive." Cynthia Rose gave me that look, the look saying _You're an oddball._

"No, I me—I didn't. I didn't mean that. It's just, the idea is not. It's inconceivable."

"Whatever you say, Legacy." And just like that, she walked away. I was left there, stunned. She's on to me.

After that semi-confrontation with Aunt CR, I knew I had to be careful. I was taunting the future here. Who knows what could happen if she finds out.  _Oh, Legacy is an actual legacy. You know, Beca and Chloe's legacy to the world. And she says Chloe is going to die. And she says she's here to prevent that. I know, crazy, right? Do you think we need to send her somewhere? Like you know, *whispers* to an asylum?_

* * *

"Stupid fu—", Beca muttered as she almost tripped on a hamper along the corridor. Emily was walking in front of her as they made their way down to the kitchen. The sun was already out and she could smell pancakes and coffee, which may have stirred her brain a bit even though she hated mornings.

As they entered the kitchen, Beca had to stop on her tracks. Yes, she hated mornings. But there was something about seeing Chloe Beale—all dressed down, with her hair in a messy bun and her face void of makeup, that made mornings bearable. Scratch that. There was something about seeing Chloe Beale that made her look forward to mornings no matter how early. And this specific scene, made more special because the sun was shining through the window and was giving Chloe a glowing look. She already glowed on a normal day, mind you. So add a little more sun, and she just glows beautifully.

Beca was entranced, brought out of her reverie when Cynthia Rose spoke, "Stop staring, she'll melt." And suddenly she felt conscious, like everyone could see her, like Chloe could see her. "She can stare all she want." Chloe blurted out as she looked up and winked. Beca blushed. She made her way to the sink to get a glass of water just to get out of the situation, "You wish, Beale." She needed to counter.

"You're right, I do." It was almost a whisper, but Beca heard it. Loud and clear. She had to close her eyes for a few seconds, to regain composure and simply asked, "What?"

"Nothing." Chloe answered louder this time.

* * *

 

It's been a long day at work, well at her internship. The experience only made her feel small, stupid, useless and a failure. Her boss gave her a possible rundown of her future, how maybe, she doesn't have anything new to say. It hurt a whole lot especially after processing it on her way home. This is her dream. This is her future. And for the longest time, she thought she was good at it. Apparently not.

She wanted someone to talk to after trying so hard to compose something new. She just couldn't get out of this funk. She set aside her laptop and just stared. She stared at her mixing equipment in front of her then at the wall beside her bed, full of photos and things. She smiled knowing who they're from. Chloe was good at taking photographs, at capturing moments. There was a photograph of her mixing equipment from the first party she DJ-ed at shortly after winning the ICCAs for the first time. It wasn't even a big party, it was a house party and the DJ area was near the bathroom entrance, so that was that.

* * *

_"Chloe, what are you doing?!"_

_"I'm documenting this. This could be worth a fortune years from now."_

_"Beale. Stop it." Beca tried to take the camera to no avail._

_"You're no fun, Becs."_

_"You're right about that because I'm badass."_

_"Uh-huh." Chloe answered unimpressed. "You're so badass, you're DJ-ing right outside the bathroom."_

_Beca feigned a shocked look and gave a playful swat at Chloe's arms._

* * *

That was three years ago. She's kept the photo ever since. She's kept it because of its artistic beauty. Or so she says to herself every time she remembers. She keeps it because the photograph is beautiful not because it's from Chloe Beale and definitely not because everything Chloe Beale gives her she keeps.

And of course there are the mandatory photos with friends, and when you say friends, it means mostly Chloe Beale. She actually stayed true to her word. "We're going to be really fast friends.", she said. They really did become fast friends. She always told Chloe, and only Chloe, everything, and that's saying something. Well, except for the internship, I guess. They spend most of their waking hours together, from breakfast until Bella practice, even the downtime late at night or early in the morning, depends on how you see it. Sometimes, if Beca's lucky,  _I mean what?_ , they even spend their sleeping hours together.

Photographs included those of parties attended or photographs of events she couldn't even remember why she attended. And then there's the Frank Turner poster. Beca has a wide taste in music, and it turns out, so does Chloe Beale. So when they found out they both liked Frank Turner, they knew they had to drive all the way down to Florida just to see him perform in some coffee shop. The show wasn't even all that. She's keeping the poster as a memento, as part of the memories kept under the file of Chloe Beale. But she wasn't going to admit that out loud.

The framed photograph on her night stand was probably the most special. It was special because that was probably the first time she felt she had a best friend in Chloe Beale. The photograph was a jump shot at the beach with the sunset as a backdrop. She remembered Chloe trying to figure out where to place her camera so that they could use the timer setting. She opted placing it on top of this huge rock, it was a boulder. They jumped really quick, afraid the camera might fall off any minute.

It was shortly after Aubrey's graduation and everyone was leaving for the summer. She really didn't have plans; she was supposed to stay with her dad. Chloe had already broken through her numerous barriers by that time so when she invited her over to their home in Florida, it was easy for her to say yes.

And Beca, not being used to the beach or any body of water for that matter, loved every single moment spent there. No, it wasn't because she met Chloe's family and they were awesome as hell. No, it wasn't because they were together 24/7. No, it wasn't because she got to see Chloe wearing a bikini most of the time and seeing her very toned body every day. It wasn't because of that at all. I mean, Beca had a boyfriend. _Has a boyfriend_. She shouldn't really be thinking about anybody's body right now, especially not Chloe's.

She wanted to give Chloe a call, but then that would mean telling her about the internship and she didn't want that. She was afraid of how she might react, of adding to the stress that was already mounting on her shoulders. She was afraid she'd see right through her, because that was Chloe Beale. No matter what façade or wall she puts up, Chloe Beale just breaks it.

And then she remembered Jessie. Right, Jessie. It was a struggle, trying to stop herself from calling Chloe. Her thumb was hovering on the call button as she stared at Chloe's profile on her phone. It was one of those drunken nights they had at the Bella house. Her orange hair was in perfect contrast to her blue sweater. Her blue eyes turned to a dark shade as it was late in the evening. Or early in the morning? She had a mischievous look as she stared at the camera, definitely not lustful. Everyone was already asleep, they couldn't keep up with Chloe's partying ways. It was only Ashley, Chloe and her. The last three standing. They were laughing at how Amy was snoring so loud when Chloe started going on about what collegiate acapella is all about. It was 4 in the morning and she couldn't help but record the whole thing in video. Another memento for her file on Chloe Beale.

She opted to call Jessie last minute. But her call had gone into voicemail and shortly afterwards, she heard a loud thump which made her heart jump 3 feet in the air. "Jesus, Amy!" She blurted out, holding her chest.

"What? A girl can't go out to get a smoothie and be back 14 hours later?!" Amy answered defensively.

Everything is always confusing with Amy, sometimes you get what she's saying and often times you don't. It turns out she knew about Beca's internship all along and was confused as to why she didn't want to tell anyone, especially Chloe.

"Why didn't you tell us or at least Chloe?"

Beca was perplexed. This was the second time she was asked why she hadn't told Chloe. The first one being Jessie. Why does everyone expect her to tell Chloe? There are things that she can just keep to herself.  _But then she shares almost everything with Chloe. Chloe's her best friend. It's not like she's her girlfriend or something._ Beca's stomach may have just done a somersault as that last thought crossed her mind. And suddenly she felt like being defensive, like her shields should be put to 110%.

"I don't know!" Beca answered. "It's just easier. There's like so much going on. And Chloe, would lose her mind if she thought that my sole focus wasn't winning Worlds."

"Beca," Fat Amy tried to interrupt. But Beca was busy ranting about what had happened to her earlier.

"Beca." Fat Amy said in a more serious tone. Beca shut herself up.

"Stop being defensive."

"I'm not being defensive."

"Shhh. You are. There's not much going on. The Worlds is everything, but it isn't at the same time." Fat Amy goes on.

Beca's thinking, it must be 3 in the morning, Amy's becoming serious and wise.

"What you're doing, keeping things from us, from Chloe especially, it's as if you're pushing us away already. And I'm just going to take a guess here when I say this. You're pushing us away because you don't want to have baggage when you move on. You don't want to feel the sadness and emptiness when we all move on with our lives."

Beca was about to open her mouth, about to rebut everything Amy was saying when she was stopped.

"Shh. Just listen, little one." Fat Amy said as she gently placed her finger on Beca's lips.

 _Little one?!_  Beca thought to herself.  _So what does that make you, the big one?_

"Chloe. She's noticed it you know. She knows you're off somewhere and it bothers her that she doesn't know where you are, what you're doing or why you're simply not there. Because she's Chloe. Beca, you guys are like Pacman without the mouth, so you're just one big circle. If one of you goes missing, then you're Pacman with the mouth. And if you're Pacman with the mouth, you just go on running. Eating and chasing useless dots. Then cowardly run away when the ghosts are there. Would you like that, Beca? To become Pacman?"

Beca wanted to answer. She didn't know what to say exactly though because she may have gotten lost in the conversation about Pacman. Damn Amy and her 3AM wisdom. And Amy didn't stop there, she went on about giving a pep talk to Beca, about giving her butt confidence.  _Lovely_ , Beca thought to herself.

Later that night, or that morning, Beca couldn't sleep in her bed.  _Was Amy right? Was she pushing away everyone to make it easier in the end? Was she pushing Chloe away?_  The more she thought about it, the more it dawned on her. N _o matter how the Bellas do, whatever happens at the Worlds, they will all have to go their separate ways. And Chloe. Chloe will have to graduate eventually. They will have to part wa-_. No, she couldn't even imagine a life without Chloe. It's funny because they've only known each other for three years but it feels like it's been a lifetime. No, she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to give up Chloe.

Thoughts of Chloe invaded her mind as she wandered to sleep.


	4. Four

Chloe was quiet throughout the rest of the trip. Yes, she got excited about going to a retreat, but other than that, Beca could see she was beat. She didn't like it when Chloe was beat, or quiet, or sad. The contrast to the normal bubbly Chloe was just too big to not get noticed.

Upon arriving at the Bella house, Chloe quietly gathered her things and went up to her room. Emily was being followed by Cynthia Rose, asking her, "Why'd you do it? Do you want to kill me or something? Is it because of what I said?"

Beca didn't know what they were talking about. Honestly, she's really been out of it the past few weeks. She didn't know anymore what was going on in the lives of her fellow Bellas. What more with Chloe.

She looked at Chloe as she entered the house, carrying her big bag of clothes and things. She immediately followed her as she went up the stairs. But Beca hesitated all of a sudden. Instead of knocking on Chloe's room, she walked up to her attic room shared with Amy. She was all sprawled on the bed when she heard Amy say, "You should've followed her Beca. Not gonna lie. Red looked stressed the whole trip. If I was unaware, I'd say she looked constipated."

Amy was rambling but Beca understood her. "She can manage on her own, Amy." She answered, getting a pillow to cover her face. The light was suddenly hurting her eyes.

"Get up short stack." Amy tried to pull away the pillow, but Beca wasn't having any of it.

"Come on midget. Get up!"

"Amy, if you're trying to rile me up by insulting my vertical limitations. It's not going to work."

"All hail tiny one. All hail to your infinite wisdom." Amy continued.

Beca rolled her eyes underneath the pillow. "Shut up Amy."

"What's wrong with being a decent human being Beca and showing some sympathy for your other best friend? You know that other one aside from the awesome one in front of you?"

And then Amy mumbled something close to, "You know, that one you're not so secretly in love with."

"What?" Beca had asked.

"Nothing. Now come on! Get going and be a dwarf to Snow White! Don't make me count the numerous times she's come in here to do the same to you, Tinkerbell."

 _What?!_ Beca thought to herself. But really, at this point, she didn't really care about what Amy was blurting anymore. Amy was right, anyway. Time to be a freakin' dwarf to her Snow White.  _What?_ She needed to become a decent human being and be a friend to Chloe. She wasn't even sure why she couldn't do it in the first place.

She found herself slowly getting up, grabbing a grey sweater and putting it on. She slowly walked down their attic room with thoughts running through her head. She almost bumped into Emily who was still being harassed by CR. She didn't understand why. She didn't care to ask them what they were fighting over. Her mind was too busy thinking.

_What's wrong with just sitting there beside Chloe, to tell her that it's all right? What's wrong with that? I mean, I've done it before. It's nothing new really. All I have to do is to sit there and rub her back probably, if she's crying. Or give her a hug. Definitely nothing wrong with that. I even enjoy it most times, if not at all times. I mean, what?_

_There's totally nothing wrong if Chloe needed to lay her head on my shoulder. I mean, offering a shoulder to cry on is normal, right? And to secretly become a big spoon of sorts if and when Chloe falls asleep? Totally normal._

She knocked on Chloe's door. No one was answering so she slowly opened it and called out to Chloe. But Chloe was taking a shower, Beca could hear the water in the bathroom. She entered and sat on Chloe's bed.  _Wouldn't it be funny if I just walked in the shower?_ Beca thought to herself.  _No, Beca. We don't want that._  She browsed through the room. contrary to popular belief, Chloe wasn't actually all pink and bright colors. She was more of white with an accent of deep blue which really suited her red hair and bright blue eyes. Her room screamed cleanliness whereas Amy and Beca's room shouted _please clean me._ She looked at Chloe's desk, with some unused films on the side. All her notebooks were neatly stacked to one corner of the table. She then glanced at her nightstand and saw the redhead's phone. She was tempted at first to check her phone, browse through it and probably change her wallpaper into a picture of her face but decided against it last minute. After putting the phone down, she noticed a picture frame with three photographs right behind the lamp. The first one was familiar, it was a photo of her and Chloe after winning their first ICCAs.

* * *

_"_ _Beca!" And just like that Chloe tackled her into a bear hug. All Beca could mutter was an Mmph._

 _"_ _Beale, can't breathe!"_

 _"_ _Oh, I'm so sorry, Becs." Chloe was just smiling. That smile that could launch a thousand ships on to the moon. Oh, wrong reference?_

_They ended up staring at each other for a few seconds. Not just because they couldn't help it. But more so because they didn't know what to do. There was something but then there was nothing. Beca had seen Chloe with that guy, you know the guy that looked like he only had one nipple. That guy from the Football team. That guy from the shower. Tom. He's not all that bad, he's actually kind of nice and good at cooking too._

_And Beca herself may have done something stupid by finally making a move towards the direction of Jessie, literally and figuratively. Beca knows Chloe saw it; she's seen the look on Chloe's face afterwards. She looked lost in the midst of big Bella smiles. It felt like she hurt her deep inside._

_Beca was not entirely sure why she thought her scene with Jessie mattered. Heck, she wasn't sure what was going on between them, between her and Chloe. And Beca had wanted so much to tell her, "I don't understand what the fuck is happening. I don't know where we are. I don't know what we are. I don't know where I stand." She's rehearsed it a number of times, imagining her hand holding Chloe's. But she couldn't. She just couldn't._

_So there they were just staring at each other, because honestly, they did not know what to do with each other. They didn't know what to do so bad, their hands just gravitated toward each other. And Beca could feel the world spinning. Just like in the freakin' movies. Suddenly, she was aware of her breathing, of Chloe's eye lashes, of Chloe's eyes blinking, of Chloe's scar on her forehead, of Chloe's nose bridge, of Chloe's lips. And in Beca's mind, she felt like she wanted to do something but couldn't. She wasn't sure what it was. Or if she knew what it was, she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it or if she was ready for the consequences._

_"_ _Smile you guys!" The moment was shattered when someone by the name of Aubrey fuckin' Posen asked them to pose for the camera. And that they did. Chloe had loved how the photo turned out, enough to place it beside her bed. Beca would never do such a thing, to commemorate something so… bittersweet._

* * *

The second photo was at a concert of David Guetta. Of course the first person she had invited to go with her was Chloe. After that not-so-sexy shower duet she had with the red head, she may have always planned on inviting her to watch David Guetta in concert because she may have secretly wanted to see how the redhead would react when the song was sung live.

After Titanium was sung, Chloe had her head laying on Beca's shoulder, her hands holding her waist. When her fingers began tracing letters, Beca may have forgotten to breathe a bit, only brought out by Chloe's whisper in her ears, "You're not breathing, Becs." And Beca could feel the smirk in her voice. Because really, if that jam was Chloe's lady jam, then that song was Beca's Chloe jam. Like THE Chloe Jam. She couldn't help remember the time she first found out the redhead liked the song.

* * *

_Chloe was forcing her to join the Bellas while in the shower. Chloe was naked when she entered her shower stall. "Dude!" was all Beca could muster. Beca was using all her might to not look elsewhere aside from Chloe's eyes. Because seriously, if her eyes lowered even the tiniest bit, she'd see things she couldn't unsee forever. Now, that may not necessarily be a bad thing, but still, she needed self-preservation. And Chloe. Chloe was making it hard for her to not look down at her oh-so-gorgeous body._

_And when Chloe had said, "Yeah, I'm confident about all this.", as she pointed to her body, Beca hadn't noticed but her eyes have followed the redhead's arms. And, oh god, her body was a freakin wonderland. Beca immediately looked up before she got lost down under._

_There would be many nights when she'd dream about that incident. Sometimes wondering what could have been. Sometimes wondering if it was all real. Seriously, who invades anyone in the shower? No one, right? Unless you had other motives._

* * *

Beca was brought out of her thoughts when Chloe came out of the shower wearing only a white towel. "Oh my god! Becs! You scared the shit out of me!" Chloe exclaimed.

And Beca's eyes widened upon seeing the towel-clad Chloe Beale but immediately found her composure by focusing on her fingernails instead. "Whatever, Beale. That wasn't scary. You invading my shower is."

Chloe walked past her to get dressed and Beca was using all her power to not look. Chloe must have noticed Beca frozen to her bed, "Becs, it's not like you haven't seen any of this before." Again, Beca could feel Chloe's smirk.

"Out of respect, Beale."

"Okay, respect me any way you want, Mitchell. But I'm telling you, you're missing out."

Beca let out a deep sigh.

Chloe walked in front of her. She was now decent. Well, if you could call a grey tank top and a black pair of shorts that showed too much of her toned legs, decent. i mean, she might as well just wear nothing at the rate she's going.The redhead may have noticed Beca staring so she said, "Becs, up here." She pointed to her face with a smirk.

"Yeah," Beca couldn't help but blush.

"What's up?" Chloe asked as she sat beside her. Beca turned to her and said, "Nothing. I just.. Nothing."

Chloe gave her a confused look. "So, what? You're just stalking my room? Staring at photographs and shit?"

"Yeah, and I may have taken a few used clothes as a memento. To keep me company at night."

"Gross! Pervert!" And with that, Beca earned a hard slap on her arm. Chloe laughed. It was the laughter that could light up the world, or so Beca thought to herself. But she could see through her eyes. Chloe was tired. She was laughing, but her eyes, they looked beat.

It wasn't clear to Beca how it happened but it did. They were both lying on their sides facing each other. Chloe was still talking although her words were slowly becoming faint whispers. Beca was about to get up when Chloe held her arm to stop her from leaving. "I'm just going to turn off the lights, Chlo.", she assured her with a smile. It was heartwarming that Chloe didn't want her to leave. It was a few minutes later, when Beca could hear Chloe's steady breathing that she couldn't help what her hands began to do. Her hand began to touch Chloe's face, it felt so soft and warm. Even in the darkness, she saw a faint smile on her face. She wasn't sure what she was doing or if what she was doing was allowed between two friends.

She reached for Chloe's forehead and began applying pressure, gently rubbing the area above her brows. Occasionally, she would tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She began tracing Chloe's jaw line and then down to her neck. She reached the area where her shoulders met the base of her neck where she could feel the tense muscles tense some more. That was when she started gently kneading them. Her fingers could feel the tired muscles underneath and she wanted so much to untie the knots that formed. Beca may have gotten lost on what she was doing but was immediately brought back to reality when she heard a soft moan escape Chloe's lips.  _Fuck,_ she thought to herself. She abruptly stopped because her brain started to process what was happening.

"Don't stop." Chloe whispered. And if it weren't for the fact that they were centimeters away from each other, Beca would not have heard it. Chloe was looking at her now, her bright blue eyes illuminated by the light coming from the window. Beca just gave her a soft smile and continued. Her fingers pressing on her shoulders. The light presses suddenly became softer ones, later on becoming feather-like touches. Beca was now tracing Chloe's arms and then down to her waist where her hands ended up resting.

It was while Beca was tracing random letters on Chloe's exposed skin that she felt a familiar tug at her heart. Here they were again, confusion stirring inside Beca's brain. She wanted to ask so bad.  _Where are we, Chloe? What in the world are we doing? What are we? Because I swear, best friends my ass._ Chloe's eyes were closed and the distance from her face to hers was so little. A few more and her lips would be touching hers. Her mind was busy processing her thoughts that she didn't notice the commotion that was happening right outside the door.

"No really, Emily, why'd you push me?" Cynthia Rose closely followed as Emily entered the room. They both stopped on their tracks as they noticed the lights were turned off and that there were two bodies on Chloe's bed. She immediately closed the door and faced Cynthia Rose. Meanwhile, Beca just froze. Her eyes had a look of concern but Chloe wasn't budging, she remained asleep or acted like it.

* * *

"Stop harassing me!" I whispered to Cynthia Rose.

"Ouch. That scene must have hurt." Cynthia Rose feigned a look of hurt, gave her a wink and left for her room. "Let me know when you're ready to talk, Legacy!"  _I can't have her thinking I have a thing for any of my moms?! Gross!_

 _I ended_ up pacing in the living room. My parents were sleeping together again. My plan, if I really did have a plan, just really isn't working. I've been pushing for bad days, for small fights and confrontations but they just always end up sleeping together. Not together, together, but just together. Ugh, you know what I mean.

I held the time chip on my hand. _Is my trip coming to an end?_   _Is Bhloe an actual thing? I digress. Is it time to go back? Is it really impossible to keep them apart?_


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope me shifting form Emily's POV to a third person (that mostly focuses on Beca's POV) isn't confusing any of you. Let me know what you think! :)

Beca woke up to an empty bed. It took a while for everything to register.  _Right, I slept in Chloe's room._ It's not like it's the first time. She tried remembering what had happened before they fell asleep. Emily and CR arguing about something, entering the room and then leaving immediately.  _What is up with those two?_

She rolled to her side and checked her phone, it was 6:30 in the freakin' morning. Chloe must have gone out for a run, which she always does especially when she's stressed out about something.  _Right._ She tries to decide whether to go down and prepare breakfast or just sleep in for a few more hours. Deciding to make breakfast for when Chloe gets back was the least she could do. I mean, she didn't really talk the stress out of Chloe last night.

It was right in the middle of rummaging through the fridge for fruits and those healthy things that she suddenly realized how domestic this felt. Beca would normally scoff at the thought of a domesticated life but something about doing it with a certain redhead made her smile a bit, made it more appealing. Of course, anything Chloe Beale was appealing to Beca.

At 7:00 o'clock, Chloe entered through the kitchen door. And if the world could slow down as she entered, it would have in Beca's mind because she was just blown away. In her mind,  _who the hell looks like that after running?_  Beca could not help but stare, which she may have been doing a lot these days, at the redhead in front of her. Her hair in a messy bun with just the right amount of sweat on her face; her shoulders baring those toned muscles and her legs that—. She snapped out of it because she may have seen Chloe's lips moving.  _Oh, she's talking to me._

"I said, you're up early." Chloe told her as she drank water.

"Yeah. Yeah. I thought of joining you for a run. But then, I didn't want you feeling bad when I outrun you. So…"

"Right. That for me?" Chloe asked as she pointed at the oatmeal with a side of fruits on the counter.

"No. These would be for me. Because I've decided I want to eat more of the tasteless garbage you've been asking me to eat and less of the yummy goodness that is called pizza and burgers." Beca earned a swat on the arm.

"Ow. Of course they're for you. You won't catch me eating these… these… things."

"Aww, thanks Becs. You woke up early just to prepare breakfast for me. I swear, what will happen to you without me forcing you to eat your vegetables."

"I'll be happy and content, hunched in front of my laptop all day long."

"Ha. Good thing I'm not letting that happen."

"You're evil."

"I'm not. I just care about you—r well-being and your health."

Beca ended up staring again. She heard that slip up. She knows Chloe cares about her a lot. She doesn't really understand why she tries to cover it sometimes.

"You're staring, Becs."

She was about to ask Chloe what was stressing her out, which was really a stupid question because she knew the answer to that, when someone by the name of Patricia entered the fray. "Good morning love birds."

"What?" They both asked in unison.

"I said, good morning, rumpum-pumshkins." Fat Amy just gave them a perplexed look as if saying  _What wasn't so clear with what I said? I obviously said rumpum-pumshkins._

* * *

"Beca, it's New York! Way better than just Atlanta. Why won't you go?" Jesse asked her. Honestly, she wasn't even sure. It just felt natural for her to immediately say no when he invited her.

While it's true they have come a long way, with her putting down  _some_  walls, she felt that moving to New York would be a tad bit too much and not to mention, a tad bit too far. And when she says too far, she's not too sure if it's too far from LA, because that was the plan after all, or if it's too far from Atlanta. She would never admit it to herself, but moving away from Atlanta would give her unnecessary melancholy, with her dad being here and all. Yeah, totally not because of Chloe. Speaking of Chloe, she hasn't even heard her plans, she might be moving to New York for all she knows. Or worse, she could still be not graduating this year.

"Beca." Her thoughts were disturbed by the man in front of her. Right, Jessie. She shouldn't really be thinking about Chloe, let alone any other person, right now.

"I can't."

"You can't? Or you won't?"

Jessie got her stumped. But she had to win this. "You're being unfair, Jesse." And she was trying her darn best to keep a level head, to tone her voice down because they were dangerously close to the Bella house and she doesn't really need any of the Bellas asking her about what they were fighting about.

"Am I? Remember that one summer you suddenly decided you were going to spend with Chloe? Well, that was a quick decision, one that was easy for you to make."

"Oh, great. It was just a summer. It's not even the whole summer. This, what you're asking me to do is moving my whole life elsewhere. Don't give me that I can't or I won't."

"Those are two different things, Beca. You know that."

"You're being unfair, Jessie. An opportunity in New York comes along for you and you don't see me asking you to stay here in Atlanta instead."

"But, you don't even know what your plan is."

"The plan is LA. I'm not asking you to move with me there, right?"

"Then maybe that's the problem."

"What? What is the prob—I don't understand, Jess." Beca let out a sigh. She was starting to feel anxious, annoyed and tired.

"You don't exactly have a place for me in any of your plans."

"Come on. It's not like we're about to get married!"

Jessie just gave her a smile. A smile that said  _I'm done._

"What now, Jess? Really, I am tired. I've had a long day. We have a lot of things to do and I really don't want to add this—this—this whatever this is—to my long list of problems."

"You're right. You just… go rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow." And with that he turned around and walked toward the Treble house.

Beca was left there, behind the hedge that separated the two acapella houses. She didn't mean to get mad at Jessie. But, what he was asking her to do was just too much. No, she wasn't about to move to a new state just because her boyfriend asked her to. She's got plans. Well, they're not that clear now but moving to New York wasn't one of them. She began walking towards the house. She thought of whether to pass through the hedge or just walk around it, but her tired body had won so she just pushed herself into the hedge. "Ow! Stupid fu—", she began to mutter to herself as twigs and leaves poked her in different parts of her body. And as if the hedge got hurt, it felt like it was pushing her out as she passed through.

She almost had a heart attack when she bumped into Emily, who was smiling. Or grinning. "Oh, god! Em!"

"Oh! Beca. Hiii."

"How long have you been there?" Because really, she's not in the mood to explain her recent spat with Jesse to anyone.

"Um, just now. Yeah, I've been here just now."

Beca gave her a quizzical look. "Okay. You look happy? Good day?"

"No, not really. But yeah, I'm a generally happy person."

"Uh-huh. Okay. I'm gonna go inside now. Don't stay out too late, okay?"

"All right." Emily gave her a way. "Safe… um, walking!"

Beca stopped on her tracks but thought to just continue on. Emily could be weird at times.

* * *

After Beca entered the house, I could not rub off the goofy grin on my face. It turns out, as I have heard earlier, Jesse and Beca were together.  _Oh my god, Uncle Jesse. The rumors were true_. I could just push the two of them. No, it feels wrong. But then, they were fighting so it's possible it could easily end now in time for both my moms to come into terms with their feelings. Jesse was the best news I've had so far. Also my best shot for my plan to work. Shaky, I know. But at least it's a start.

I was walking towards the kitchen door, thinking of ways how to keep both my moms at bay from each other. I mean, they're not together now so how hard can it be? When I entered the kitchen, both Chloe and Stacie were working on the kitchen countertop. Stacie was reading this big molecular textbook and she had her study glasses on. She looked up as I entered.

"Oh, hey guys." I greeted.

"Hey! Have you eaten?" Chloe had asked me, she was eating a bowl of something.

"Um, no. But I'm good."

"No, sit here. Have some of these." Chloe said as she stood up and grabbed me a bowl of what turned out to be pasta.

Again with the domestic life. I can't even remember the last time my mom had prepared food for me. Oh wait, I think I do. I was 11. She was pregnant at that time. I think it was same day of the accident.  _Shit._

It just feels all too familiar and there's a pain tugging at my heart. It just motivates me some more to make my plan successful, if there was actually a plan. I don't want the painful future to happen. But how in the world am I going to change that?

* * *

Beca came in a few minutes later looking for food. She watched as Chloe prepared a bowl of food for Emily. To her, it felt like home. Not her home, but, at least a home that she dreams of having one day.  _Not necessarily with Chloe. Not that Chloe as a wife is a bad thing. Okay, shutting up thoughts now._

"Wow, Beca, maybe not make it too obvious?" Stacie murmured as she highlighted a sentence on her big ass textbook.

Beca tried to just disregard what Stacie had said, instead announced to Chloe, "Feed me, I'm hungry," as she sat down.

"You're such a big baby, Becs." But Chloe stood up, grabbed another bowl of food and placed it in front of Beca.

"I swear. What are you going to do without me?"

And Beca may have choked on three strands of spaghetti. It was then that Amy entered the kitchen with a big white envelope.

"What's up aca-pitches! Oh, Red, this has your name on it." Amy handed the big white envelope to Chloe.

Chloe immediately turned it over as if it's nothing.

"What is it?" Beca asked.

"Nothing."

"Aren't you going to read it? Or at least check who it's from?" Beca was speaking with a mouthful of spaghetti in her mouth so her question came out sounding like  _Or-um,nom,art-least-who'romnom_ or something to that effect.

"Chew your food!" And with that she had earned an arm slap from Chloe.

"Yeah, Red, I mean, they wouldn't use a big ass envelope if it was nothing. And I may have read Stan—" Amy was cut off by Chloe who gave her a stern look. "It's nothing, Amy." And it's not everyday that Chloe gives a stern look to Amy. Or anyone, for that matter.

It may not look like it, but Beca does notice things. She eyed the white envelope, wondering what it actually was. But her stomach was still growling from hunger so she set aside the thought and ate some more.

It was already late when they all had finished eating, Chloe had gone up stairs to take a shower, and Beca may have stared a bit too long at Chloe's, um, backside. Again, she earned an arm slap but this time from Stacie.

"Ow! Why?!"

"You're distracting me, you tiny molecule."

"How in the world am I distracting you?"

"You're ogling!"

"What?! I wasn't even looking at you, Ms. Smartypants!"

"Not at me, you microscopic, nanoscale of a human being! At the redhead!"

And Beca opened her mouth but no words came out. It took a few seconds for a sound to be made. "Uh, no I wasn't!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, pint-size. I'll have to agree with Stace here. Ain't that right, legacy?"

"Hm? What are you guys talking about?"

"Finally, someone who has some sense. Thank you Emily. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a shower."

"Joining Red, I see." Amy quipped.

"Amy!" Beca just glared at her as she walked away.

"I don't think she's the courage to join her in the shower. I bet she's getting a shower to  _cool_  herself down. If you know what I mean." Stacie muttered to Fat Amy as she added a wink.

"Could be. Could be. Those two, I swear."

"Yeah, tell me about it. The other night, I caught Beca staring again. You know when we were watching that movie. And you know how she busies herself with other things whenever we watch something. They weren't seated together this time, but Beca, God, she's smitten."

"Do you think, like, she needs a little prodding?"

"Who, Beca? I'm not really sure." Stacie put down her glasses and closed her textbook. "I mean, it's possible that the reason why nothing's happening is because nothing's really there. Plus, there are hindrances aka boyfriends. So, you know."

"Yeah, but, I mean, come on. I'm best friends with Beca but you don't see me cuddling to her. Aubrey's best friends with Chloe, you don't see them holding hands."

Stacie had that thinking look when she turned to Emily. "Em, how about you? What do you think?"

* * *

I was listening intently to their conversation when I realized Stacie had a question directed at me. I was too busy processing the information I was getting.

"Oh, sorry, what?"

"What do you think about Bechloe?" Fat Amy asked as she bit through her piece of left over donut.

"Becl—what?"

"Beca and Chloe. To make it shorter. Easier to say."

"Oh. Um, yeah, um. Isn't Beca with Unc—Jesse?"

"There's your cockblocker right there."

"Amy, language!" Stacie sternly whispered. "But, you're right. It's just, it's frustrating for me. To see them act like that and to still not be together. I mean, seriously. Chloe staying for three years because she's been failing Russian Literature. Failing my ass. Let me tell you this. Chloe doesn't fail classes. At least not intentionally."

"So, just let me get this straight. You want them together?" I just had to ask.

"Oh yeah. Or at least, just relieve themselves of that sexual tension going on between them. Like, just get it over and done with and move on with their lives."

_Gross. Parents and sexual tension don't go together in my ears._

"Um, I don't think it's just sexual tension, Stacie. I think there's something more there." Amy had to rebut.

"Yeah, whatever. It's just, it's distracting me. Especially now that finals are coming up! Oh, before I forget. What was that white envelope?"

"I'm not sure. I read Stanford, but I didn't really check the whole package."

"Well, whatever it is, she's keeping it a secret."

"Yeah, noticed that too. Right, right. Well, I'm heading upstairs. All these Bechloe thoughts make my head hurt. Legacy, I suggest you turn in as well because this lady here will bug you for the rest of the night if you stay."

I did as I was told. On my way upstairs, my little brain was beginning to churn again.  _Not that it stopped churning. You know what I mean._ There was a sudden fear in me. How was I supposed to complete my plan? It was as if everyone's rooting for them. Amy. Stacie. Who knows who else? Jessica? Ashley? Lilly? CR? It was like me against the world! I was feeling desperate. Maybe I needed some help? But from whom? And how?

My thoughts were interrupted by, surprise surprise, Aunt CR. "There you are!"

"Oh! You, uh, you scared me there." I gave a nervous laugh.

"I scared you? Hey, I didn't burn you to death."

"I didn't burn you to death!" I had to emphasize every word.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, ready to talk? Who is it? Is it Beca? Chloe?" CR had this expectant smile on her, as if she's figured everything out and was just waiting for a confirmation.

Maybe, she's the help that I need. But how? By telling her the truth? I wasn't entirely sure, but I needed to act fast. Okay then, the truth, could be worth a shot.

"Okay, fine. You got me." I raised both my hands to emphasize my surrender. And then she prodded me to go on.

"You see, I'm from the future, from the year 2030."

And I began to see the confused look on Aunt CR's eyes.

"I'm here to change the past. I'm Beca and Chloe's child from the future. I'm an actual legacy, Beca and Chloe's legacy. Something bad happened and I'm here to prevent that from happening. I'm not ogling, I'm not in love with any of them. I'm just waiting for the right moment to intervene. And I may need your help."

Aunt CR's turned from confused to bewildered. I was taunting the future here. We were right outside the room that I shared with Chloe. And if she hears any of the things that I was saying now, it would easily become a heated mess.

I was staring intently at Aunt CR's eyes. I was waiting for her to say something, begging her eyes to say something, when finally, she blurted, "What kind of white shit is this?!"


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There has always been a nagging feeling inside of Beca, since three years ago. It's not as simple as deciding abruptly now, it has been a series of questioning glances, of lingering touches, of intertwined fingers, of warm breath on each other's necks, of mornings waking up to each other, of moments where they look for each other's company scattered in a span of three years.
> 
> She knew she had to do this, that maybe she needed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter moves from Emily's POV to Beca's a number of times. I hope you won't get confused.  
> Also, I'd love to hear what you think of the story so... :)

"What exactly do you mean by white shit?" I asked a bewildered Cynthia Rose.

And then she began to laugh. "Future my ass." She quipped.

She even had to hold on to the wall to stop herself from falling over. What was funny?

"Seriously, Legacy. You're one tough shit to crack." She laughed some more as she walked back to her room which she shared with Stacie.

I just stood there dumbfounded. There I was laying the truth to her and she still didn't believe me. Was she that hell bent on believing I was in love with either of my moms? Which, can I reiterate, is gross? Oh, or maybe, me coming from the future is really just a far-fetched idea.

Just can't catch a break. Now I'm stuck.

Or so I thought. I couldn't believe my luck would turn that quick. I was outside the Bella house the next morning, waking up early to have an early start, definitely not because I could not sleep. I mean, I've only been tossing and turning for hours so at the first sight of the day's first light, I went outside to take a walk.

I may have briskly walked back because I suddenly felt nauseous. Not for any other reason except that there's just too much going on. And after I've risked my whole life, I might just have to go back to the future without an ounce of an accomplishment. Oh yeah, have I mentioned my mom, Chloe, is dead in the future? So yeah, I'm going back to that reality.

I was so busy with my thoughts that I almost, no not almost, I really did not see Jesse backing out of the driveway of the Treble house. Good thing he saw me, or else, I would have died in the past. How sad would that be?

"Em! Oh my god, are you okay?" He immediately went out of his car.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking. Totes my fault."

"No, no. Hey, are you hurt? The Bellas might kill me if something happened to you." And he gave me his charming boyish smile.

"I'm good." I gave out a nervous laugh. And as I looked at him, I just couldn't fathom how he's actually together with my mom, Beca. I mean, I only know of him as Uncle Jesse, mom's lesbro. No really, it's a thing they got going like how he always has her back and stuff. And ever since my mom, Chloe, died, he's been there for us. He's been Beca's driver when she's had too much to drink; he's our baby-sitter—which I've been telling my mom we don't really need because I'm old enough to take care of Maddie—when she's out late at work; he's our on-call gardener when there are squirrels on the loose; he picks me up at school whenever mom has a meeting she can't get out of, and I can keep on telling her we could totally manage if she'd just let me drive which would never happen because of the fact that I was the reason of the accident. He takes care of us, he really does. And like I said, he's got my mom's back.

And a thought suddenly came to mind.

"Hey, um… Jesse, uh, I don't mean to pry, I wasn't eavesdropping or something, I just overheard as I walked by. I tried not to listen but your voices were loud enough."

"Oh, that. I'm sorry you had to hear that."

I gave him an apologetic smile. "It's not over until it's over. Maybe you guys just need to talk it out."

"Yeah, well… yeah." He gave me a smile and walked back to his car, as if he didn't want to talk about it. He was already driving away when I might have overdone myself.

"Some flowers would be nice, too!" I waved as he drove out. He gave me a salute to acknowledge he had heard.

* * *

It has been Beca's habit to go up to Chloe's room on slow afternoons to hang out, it was no different on this specific afternoon which was slow and quiet, thanks to Amy spending her afternoon out. She walked in on Chloe as she was about to keep the big ass white envelope she received the night before in her bedside drawer. Beca didn't have the chance to ask about it as Chloe summoned her to the bed.

"What's up? You got anything new?"

"Yeah, actually." Beca gave Chloe her earphones so that she could take a listen at her new stuff. After a few minutes of listening, discussing and critiquing the music, Beca decided to work on it immediately so that she could let Chloe judge the changes. And Beca, she gets too engrossed sometimes that she forgets what is happening around her. She was finished when she noticed; Chloe had fallen asleep beside her, the older girl's head slumped on her shoulder.

She didn't want to disturb her sleep so she just let her even though her left arm was itchy and she didn't have the heart to scratch the itch because it would definitely wake up Chloe. She went to sleep instead.

She woke up to the sound of Fat Amy shouting her name, so did Chloe. "I think you're being summoned." Chloe whispered.  _God, Chloe's bedroom voice just brought a funny feeling to areas in her body that she will not name._  Chloe got up and entered the bathroom, which was a good thing because she would have seen Beca blushing like a 12-year old.

Beca went downstairs with a grumpy look on her face, one, because her nap time was disturbed, her nap time  _with Chloe_  to be specific; two, well, there is no other reason. She checked the living room but no one was there so she turned and went inside the kitchen. Lo and behold, there was Emily with a grin that could give the Grinch a run for his money and Amy who looked like a constipated Cheshire cat. Jessica was behind them pointing to something on the kitchen counter, a big red of—oh. Roses.

Now, it's not often that Beca receives roses, or flowers in general. She just doesn't get the point. She had a feeling who it was from, because really, a romantic gesture like this would only come from one person, the only person she knows that is THE believer of all romantic-centric gestures. Jesse.

A part of her wanted to go "Awww" but, I mean, come on. Beca Mitchell, the big BM, the badass DJ Mitchell doesn't do "Awww". A part of her also felt sorry for their spat the night before. However, there was a chunk of her being, quite a big part actually but she would never admit that, not to anyone, not even to herself; that big chunk inside her felt pain. No, it wasn't a physical pain—it would later on feel something like it, though—but rather an emotional pain, a pain inside the core of her being if there's such a thing.

She felt the pain because there was a  _Thud._  She was brought back to reality—the reality that is Jesse Swanson—from that space up in the clouds, that of a redhead named Chloe Beale.

"Hey Becs—", she heard a familiar voice as it walked in to the kitchen. "Oh.", Beca felt that sudden stop, how Chloe had halted as she saw the flowers. It took a while before anyone made a sound, not Beca, not Amy, not Emily, not Jessica, not Stacie who turns out was standing in the corner still busy studying one of her other scientist textbooks. No one dared to speak, well, not until Chloe.

"These, uh, for you?"

Beca nodded.

"Fancy." She offered a shy smile, which really tore Beca's heart. The confident and bubbly Chloe Beale reduced to a shy little girl with one stupid, romantic and thoughtful, but stupid gesture.

"I think I'm, uh, going for a run." And with that she walked back to her room to change. She didn't even say bye when she left the house. Everyone just knew because they heard the front door closing.

"Aca-awkward." Fat Amy said as she broke the silence.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Jessica answered as she left the kitchen.

* * *

I didn't really know how my plan would work, but, I think it did. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't like the feeling I got in my stomach after seeing Chloe like that. That scene hurt her, I know. You have to understand, I have goals here. While my head was doing a happy dance after my minor victory, there was a part of me that kept tugging me back, telling me to stop it all because it wasn't right.

Instead, I busied myself with baking some snicker doodles. I was so busy that I didn't notice Chloe had arrived back after a good two hours.  _Two hours?! Who runs that long?_

Stacie, who has been in the kitchen the whole time studying—I mean, what kind of test is this, she's been studying for days, suddenly spoke to the huffing and puffing Chloe Beale-Mit, I mean, Chloe Beale.

"You've been running a lot lately."

At this time, I had already looked up to see the two, after checking my third batch of cookies.

"But I've always been running. A lot." She said with a question in her brows.

"Yeah, try staying next time, maybe?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

Chloe, thinking it was nothing, or maybe realizing whatever it was Stacie was trying to tell her, grabbed a banana and walked out.

"Ugh." Stacie groaned as she highlighted another sentence on her thick book. "So, how about them snicker doodles? Can I have some?"

* * *

When Chloe left for a run, Beca decided to confront the reason for the sudden awkwardness in the kitchen. When she thought of confronting Jesse, she wasn't really sure how and what about specifically. Chloe leaving abruptly gave her an uncomfortable feeling. Amy was right, it was aca-awkward. And it's these kinds of things that make her think that maybe there is  _something_ there. And the guys, their constant whispers about the two of them. So maybe there is  _something_ between them.

She let her feet carry her towards that big house beside theirs, only separated by a big-ass hedge. The last thing she heard as she left the kitchen was Flo's voice saying, "In my country, you only get flowers when you die, that is if you're lucky."

Beca chose to walk around the house and enter through the backdoor by the pool, because that's what normal people do. She simply had to ask Benjie, who was busy keeping Abner the piglet inside his magician's hat, to no avail, to ask Jesse to come out to the pool.

When Jesse came out, it felt normal for Beca to come forward and give him a kiss although a brief one. Jesse smiled through Beca's lips.

"That was unexpected," Jesse told Beca.

"Yeah, well, so were the flowers. Oh wait, the flowers screamed Jesse Swanson so, no. Totally expected it."

"Good touch, huh?"

Beca gave him a look, "I wouldn't say that…"

Jesse just gave Beca his most boyish grin. "So, we're okay?"

Beca thought, we are okay, right? "Yeah." Totally okay.

"So, New York?"

And now we're not.

There was something about the way his eyes seemed to expect her to say yes that ticked her off. It was like a switch in her brain that just turned on.  _Stop it with New York, goddammit._   _I mean, Chloe would never pressure me to answer her just like that. Chloe understood me. Chloe understood that I'd need time to get accustomed to something, anything really, new. Chloe understood how important it was for me to become a producer so my shot at Residual Heat was something I valued, not that Chloe knew of my internship, but that's not important. The important thing is, Chloe. I mean, the important thing is Chloe understands me better than anyone else, even better than myself._

"Becs." Jesse gave her a questioning look.

_Oh, right. I haven't answered. Because my mind was filled with freakin' thoughts of Chloe Beale._

"Becs." Jesse tried again.

"Hm?"

"You haven't spoken in like, a minute."

And Beca wasn't sure if what she was about to do was right, but I mean, everything she's done ever since entering Barden was like shooting for the stars, always a bit outside of her comfort zone, almost always something she wasn't sure if she was supposed to be doing but she did anyway. Like when she decided to even speak to Aubrey and Chloe at the activities fair, because really, the way the two looked, they looked like people who stepped out of the Hamptons and she wouldn't be caught dead talking to people from the Hamptons. And then there was that shower scene with Chloe Beale. She knew she wasn't supposed to give in and sing with the freakin' naked redhead, but she did anyway. Don't even mention the fact that she did end up auditioning for the Bellas, singing a song she learned online one summer in front of the then stuck up Aubrey and that piece of sunshine, Chloe.

Beca wasn't sure why, but it seemed she was counting the times Chloe's name had popped into her head. Beca wasn't sure, but she was going to do this, anyway. Seriously, having someone else keep popping inside your head while speaking to your supposed boyfriend, that probably means something, right? There has always been a nagging feeling inside of Beca, since three years ago. It's not as simple as deciding abruptly now, it has been a series of questioning glances, of lingering touches, of intertwined fingers, of warm breath on each other's necks, of mornings waking up to each other, of moments where they look for each other's company scattered in a span of three years.

She knew she had to do this, that maybe she needed this.

"Jesse..." Beca began.

* * *

Beca was seated beside Emily, close to the door of the Bella bus as they made their way through the country side on their way to their retreat. Well, if you can call it countryside. There were trees, lots of them. Country enough for Beca. She looked at the Bellas one by one, all of them busy with something. CR was browsing through her Ipad. Amy was munching through her box of donuts as she listened to her Ipod. Ashley and Stacie talking about something scientific, Beca really could not understand. Lilly was on the passenger seat practicing her beatboxing skills, keeping Jessica company as she drove the bus. Emily was busy writing something on her notebook. Flo was trying to talk to Amy. She was going on about how it's like in her hometown how people die everyday or something. And Chloe. Chloe was on the far corner of the bus, her hands deep in her red hair. Beca wasn't sure if she was deep in thought, having a terrible headache or actually sleeping.

It was minutes later when she realized she was staring at the redhead and that she was also being stared at. Stacie and Amy were looking at her with mischievous smiles. She just had to roll her eyes. She mouthed, "What?" to Amy who made a whistling look. Stacie on the other hand made a kissing gesture as she gave Beca a wink. Beca just rolled her eyes again.

She'd noticed that Chloe hasn't moved since she started staring so she's decided to sit with her best friend. I mean, if she was asleep, she might hit her head somewhere so a shoulder would be a good precaution. Yeah, good reasoning. No one would want life-ending injuries resulting from a head bump. She slowly made her way through to the corner of the bus, holding on to every railing she could hold on to. But really, Jessica was a stable driver, she made sure each trip was smooth like a baby's butt and that is why, they almost always end up sleeping like babies during trips like this.

After sitting down, Beca gently placed her hand on Chloe's left knee and gently rubbed her thumb against it. It may have startled Chloe, but upon realizing it was Beca, she just gave her a smile and leaned her head on the smaller girl's shoulder. Beca's shoulder was bare and the feeling of the redhead's hair on her skin sent electricity up her spine, more so when Chloe intertwined her hand with hers. She was shocked at first, but her hands eased in to it and eventually felt natural. Stacie gave her a smirk and she couldn't care less as the redhead tried to sleep on her shoulder.

The trip lasted for an hour and a half, which was lengthy for Beca's usual standards, but in the reality she would never admit, it was too short of a time for Chloe to be resting her head on Beca's shoulder. Beca woke up the sleeping redhead as she whispered, "Hey, sleepyhead, I think we're here."

Chloe's eyes were still closed but she gave Beca's hands a squeeze and finally came out of her slumber.

"You okay?" "Yeah." "Are you sure?" "Totes." Beca wasn't usually like this, so gentle and caring. She could only count the number of people she had shown this side to. And it totaled to one. Just one. But she wasn't going to let anyone know about that.

* * *

I was curious as to where in the world we were going. Chloe may have mentioned to me in passing one night, the Lodge of Fallen something. I've been trying to remember where I'd heard that from because it awfully sounds familiar.

It was when we reached the place and after I've seen Aunt Aubrey that it dawned on me.  _Lodge of Fallen Leaves, now I remember._ Aunt Aubrey still looks the same, still barking orders. It sure felt nice to see her. As my mom's best friend, she's always been there for us especially after the accident. And the hug that I gave her may have felt too familiar that Aunt CR again, gave me a quizzical look.

Later that night, inside the tent we were staying at, after the complaints were said about not having proper rooms, I found myself busily writing down my thoughts, in case I needed to draw out some ideas later on, because really at the rate that I'm going, I wasn't going to separate them, especially after seeing them in the bus earlier. Seriously, I'm with Aunt Amy here when she says, best friends don't do those things to each other. And I may just have to go back to the future not having changed anything about them not ending up together, about Chloe not dying and about Beca not being an absolute mess afterwards. I felt a shift beside me, Chloe turning to her side to face Beca, who I think may have done the same. They were whispering but my ears were good enough to overhear. Seriously, we were all inside a tent. Were they really going to think no one would hear?

"What are we doing here?"

"We're bonding. You seem so tense, do you need a backrub?"

"Several body parts are rubbing my back right now. Thank you."

I heard them talking about discovering more about each other. I was beginning to think their whispers were really nothing more than friends talking when I overheard something.

"You know, one of my biggest regrets was not doing enough experimenting in college."

 _Eew. Guys, gross._ I was waiting for Beca's reply, but it took her a while. As if what Chloe had told her caught her off guard. And it was so like my mom to put up a façade of  _I don't care_ when she answered, "You're so weird." I felt her turn her back on Chloe and whisper she wanted to go home.

I heard Chloe sigh as she turned on her back. My mind began to churn to process what just happened. Is this it? Is this the break I've been waiting for? There were a few more whispers between Stacie and CR about touching each other's booties? And then there was Amy asking for us to sing, which when I come to think about it was actually really gross given the circumstances.

Chloe, my mom, began singing this song that I wasn't really familiar with. And it may have oiled the churning inside my brain.  _I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. Cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. I'm awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn._

And just as everyone stopped singing, I felt the ground shake. It wasn't a big shake, just enough to make me hold on to my notebook. I looked to Chloe, because really, my mom being there kind of made me feel at ease no matter what. But her eyes were closed and she wasn't budging. No one was. Was I the only one who felt the ground move? Or maybe I was imagining things.

* * *

_What in the world was Chloe thinking?! Telling me something in the lines of experimenting. How did she expect me to react to that?_

Beca was stumped when Chloe had said it. It took her a while to respond. She hoped her eyes widening went unnoticed as she thought of a response. In the end, all she could mutter was  _You're so weird_. Because seriously, how do you respond to that?  _Oh Chloe, experiment on me. Inappropriate. Why do you feel like experimenting? Is there a specific reason? Inappropriate. You wanna, uh, take this outside? Inappropriate. I know where the bus keys are. We can, uh, experiment there. So inappropriate. I want to kiss you. Really inappropriate. Kiss me. Now. Stop._

Beca had to stop her thoughts. Her thoughts were running wild and carefree. And she's not proud of it. Sure, she'd want to  _experiment_  to see where this goes because really,  _experimenting_  is the only way to know for sure. You experiment when you want to test a hypothesis, when you're checking to see if the outcome you're expecting is what's going to happen. That nagging feeling that she's had ever since,  _What are we? What are we doing? Where are we exactly? What is this thing going on between us?_ All of those are questions that Beca needs an answer to, so yes, experimenting would be the way to go. However, she could not answer that statement. There was no way she was going to tell Chloe that yes, they need to experiment. Although the question wasn't asked directly, she knew what the statement was. Contrary to popular belief, she isn't that dense.

Beca wasn't after experimenting. She didn't answer because she didn't want that. And that scared her because Chloe brought it up. It could all be just an experiment to Chloe for all she knows. And that would suck big time. That would open a whole new world of hurt. No, she didn't want to experiment. You didn't do experiments on relationships.  _Relationships? Fuck, did I just think that?_

* * *

After a few minutes, or maybe hours, of trying to think of happy thoughts, I was finally about to drift to sleep but then I felt someone moving beside me. I peeked with my left eye and I saw Chloe stand up slowly. I watched as she left the tent. 5 minutes later, I got up and followed her, which really wasn't a good idea. I mean, it was dark outside. There were bear traps everywhere. And Aunt Amy may have just left a  _booby trap_  right outside our tent, if you know what I mean. Speaking of Aunt Amy, where in the world was she?

I was walking around the area, more like close to the cabin where I knew Aunt Aubrey was staying when I happened to peek inside. I saw her with Chloe, they were talking over a cup of,  _was that whiskey?_ I stayed close to the window trying to hear what they were saying. Thank goodness the walls could talk because they were made of wood because you know, it was really more of a cabin and we were in the middle of the woods. Okay, I'm babbling.

"Chloe, three years is a long time. Don't you think, maybe, it just won't—"

"I know Bree. I know. Believe me, there are a lot of times when I question the decisions I've made. But there are moments that just spark hope in me."

"I think, if it was supposed to happen, it would have happened by now."

"She's dense, you know that. She's so clueless sometimes."

"She also has a lot of barriers and walls and facades. She makes it look like she doesn't know but she does."

I saw Chloe take a swig at the cup on the table and saw her face squirm.  _Well, serves you right for drinking whiskey in the middle of the night young lady._

"Why do you drink this stuff? It's gross."

"It helps me calm my nerves. Bears can bring you a lot of stress, Chlo."

Bears? I almost forgot. Bears. Shit. I looked around. The moon cast a beautiful glow at the lake and the surrounding area. I mean, if there were bears, I'd be able to hear them, right?

Aubrey held Chloe's hand and said, "You need to break things down before you can build them back up again. It's going to be painful but it needs to be done."

"By breaking things down, you mean tearing down everything I've worked to build with her. To just let everything go to waste and turn my back on her."

"Chlo, like I said, three years is a long time to be doing nothing and just waiting for tiny Pluto to become a planet again. Newsflash. Pluto is, and never will be, a planet."

"I don't think I can."

"You should. For your sake. Trust me, it's for the better Chlo. If in the future, it's meant to happen, then so be it. But I don't want your head high up in your ass until that happens."

Chloe was quietly staring at the cup of whiskey she had on the table. And then suddenly a smirk formed on her face. But the smirk slowly faded as her eyes started to glisten with tears. I could almost feel her pain. Was this how it went between them? Was it really that hard for them both to accept their feelings for each other? Do I really want to break this? I was beginning to regret whatever it was I was doing. I began contemplating how I should go on. Maybe it was time for me to accept our fate? That my mom was supposed to die when she did. That they were supposed to have their story written the way it was. That I was not supposed to separate the two of them because I was beginning to see how painful it is for the both of them to not be with each other.

"It's going to be painful, isn't it?"

Aubrey gave her a nod. "The pain won't last, Chlo. It will pass."

Chloe drank what was left in the cup and her face grimaced, probably from the strong whiskey she just gulped when Aubrey asked her, "Have you thought about your plans?"

Chloe didn't answer.

"Chlo, your parents have pulled a lot of strings for this to happen. Given your record of failing Russian Lit., it's a blessing for you to even get in in the program."

"If I do this, I'd leave everything behind. I'd leave  _everyone_ behind. I'm not sure if I want that."

 _Everyone?_ What does she mean? What are they talking about?

My mind was processing the things I was hearing when it was interrupted by a movement among the shadows. It sounded like leaves.  _Oh my god. Bears._  Aubrey must have heard it because I heard a commotion inside and the door suddenly opened and I tried my best to hide under the window.

Aubrey had on with her a rifle.  _A freaking rifle._

"Aubrey, is it safe for you to be holding a gun after you've had some whiskey?"

"Oh, yeah, for sure. I've done this many times, Chloe. I'm armed and dangerous. Come out wherever you are."

"Um, I don't think bears can answer Bree."

"Shhh."

"Don't shoot!" I heard a familiar voice. "It's just me! I've done nothing wrong!" Fat Amy came out of the shadows with a bag of marshmallows in one arm.

"Amy! What in god's name are you doing out here?!" Aubrey asked as she let go of her rifle.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I asked you first."

"Okay, fair enough. I was hungry so I wandered a bit. And then I found this group of kids camping out. Funny, they thought I was a bear too. Oh, hey red."

A few more discussions and the two left for the tent again and I heard Aubrey lock her doors.

I slowly followed Chloe and Fat Amy into the tent. They were surprised I was out and about in the middle of the night, but didn't really prod as to why.

* * *

Beca was so busy with her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Chloe get up and leave. She turned and there was just empty space. It was a good hour until she came back, with Amy and then Emily, whom she hadn't even noticed as being gone. It was probably 2 in the morning if Beca was going to guess. Amy bid everyone goodnight and whispered, "Keep it in your pants, lovebirds", which earned a snort from Cynthia Rose who was apparently still up.

She faced Chloe who was facing the other side. Beca gently pulled a red lock to get her attention and did a mental dance when she finally turned. Chloe was facing her but had her eyes closed and she suspiciously smelled of alcohol, strong alcohol. It was strangely intoxicating.

"Where'd you go to?", Beca whispered looking intently at Chloe's closed eyes. They fluttered open and there it was again, Beca swore she held the galaxy in her eyes.

"Out." Chloe whispered.

"I know, but where? And why do you smell of alcohol, madame?" Beca was searching her eyes. There was something different with Chloe this time. Something distant. Something cold.

Chloe didn't answer, instead she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

"You're frowning. Why are you frowning?" Beca whispered again but Chloe wasn't budging. She reached for the older girl's forehead, gently rubbing the frown away. It was then that Chloe had opened her eyes and Beca ended up staring. No matter what angle, no matter what time of day, Chloe's eyes were the most beautiful eyes she's ever seen. She could look at them forever.

The redhead was still staring when Beca moved her head closer and gave her forehead a gentle kiss. Chloe's skin touching Beca's lips albeit for a short period of time, drove her wild. She felt her heart beat faster. And the intoxicating smell of alcohol invading her nostrils weren't doing her any good either.

"Becs," Chloe whispered and she received a gentle hm, like a contented cat's purr, she could see Beca watched her every movement. "Let's go to sleep. I'm tired." It was almost inaudible as Chloe slowly lost her energy.

Chloe's breathing became slow but the smell of alcohol intoxicated Beca's senses. When she was sure the redhead was asleep, she gently whispered, making sure no one would hear not even the intended receiver, "I don't want just an experiment, Chlo. I want you. I want us. I need to know if you want it too." Beca closed her eyes, forcing herself to sleep.

* * *

In Emily's sleep, she dreamt of bears, rifles and whiskey. Not in the same exact order but all incorporated into a story that she couldn't quite understand. The ground shook and she suddenly opened her eyes. Was it a dream? Or was there an actual earthquake? She looked at the other Bellas who all looked sound asleep. Since no one was moving, she closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep.


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Chlo? Do you want this? I just—I’m sorry, I know I’ve fucked up. It’s not all clear to me but I think I’m slowly starting to get it. I just need to know. For my peace of mind, I guess? Do you want this? Do you want us?” And that last part, it sounded more like a whisper, like Beca was too shy to admit or probably too scared to find out the answer.
> 
> Beca doesn’t expect much of the world. So when the world tried to reject her, she knew she had to lower expectations. Her plan, if any, wasn’t going anywhere. When she had asked Chloe if she wanted it too, she was shooting for the stars. Might as well, I’m in deep anyway. So it was a surprise when Chloe looked at her, her eyes red from tears, her cheeks deep in color, then a small smile formed on her face. It was even a bigger surprise when she nodded and whispered, “You have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm trying out something here. I'm now writing purely in a third person POV, i hope it makes it easier to read. Also, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing and imagining it.

_“I don’t want just an experiment, Chlo. I want you. I want us. I need to know if you want it too.”_

Beca opened her eyes because something or someone was poking her arm. It was Emily. “Hey, um, good morning. Aubrey’s calling us.”

Beca woke up to a terrible headache because she lacked sleep, and when she looked at Chloe stretching, she could see in her eyes that her head was probably throbbing in pain. She did remember smelling alcohol, strong alcohol, in her breath. _Did she like have a one-on-one with Aubrey? Or Amy?_

Her distant voice telling Chloe she wanted her was on loop inside her head, further fueling her headache. Not only that, it’s making her unable to look at Chloe or be able to act normal around the redhead. Honestly, she doesn’t understand why it’s awkward now because she’s always thought there was probably _something_ there between them. The awkwardness is probably stemming from the fact that she’s finally admitted it to herself, that it’s not just a possibility but is gearing towards a sure thing, at least from her end. She tried to set aside those thoughts as she tried focusing on their task at hand.

In all fairness to Aubrey, she did come prepared for this. Using the pitch pipe was actually a nice touch. Beca wouldn’t necessarily approve of all their activities, but she’ll have to admit, some of them were fun. Tiring, but fun.  Well, at least at first. The activities started out fun, but there comes a point when you’ve just had enough. Your body is aching, joints are probably swollen, lunch hasn’t been even served and the multiple times your body has hit the water is taking its toll. That was how Beca was feeling. 

They worked on the exercises, a lot of them requiring physical contact with each other. As usual with Beca, it’s awkward especially when having to hold Chloe. It doesn’t help that what she was wearing was showing too much skin that just makes Beca’s brain go haywire. It would have been better if she got the usual bubbly Chloe, but no. Instead, she was getting this cold and distant and has she mentioned, cold, Chloe?

Aubrey asking them to sing songs that for sure came from the song list of Bellas of old only added to the throbbing pain inside her head. And Chloe, there was something off about her today, like, they hadn’t spoken nor looked at each other. Not that Beca was counting every moment. Not at all.

There was that switch in Beca’s brain. _If this is what I get for fuckin’ trying._ She opened herself to a world of hurt by admitting, even just to herself, her feelings for a certain redhead. She hasn’t even said anything yet and she’s already getting rejected. Seeing Chloe mess around with Stacie or with Ashley and Jessica only added fuel to the fire and Beca can only take so much.

Beca’s head, cloudy from all the aching muscles, hunger pangs, water splashes and Chloe’s unexplainable coldness, decided to put a stop to this madness.

“Sorry, what are we doing?” Beca asked in between breaths.

And Chloe, as if to mask her annoyance with Beca’s own annoyance, said with a bright but obviously forced smile, “We’re rediscovering our sound.”

“Are we? Because it feels like we’re just singing songs that would never go on our set.”

What was supposed to be just a confrontation about the songs that they were singing, became something bigger. Beca was now telling them about other important things to do because she’s suddenly realized she didn’t understand why she was in this retreat to begin with. She just wants to get away and it doesn’t help that Chloe is right behind her and is answering every question she’s had.

Oh, but the answer Chloe just gave her was a question. And Chloe didn’t sound too happy.

“What could be more important than this?”

Beca looked at the redhead, and was restraining herself really bad. _Why are you being so cold to me all of a sudden? Was it because of the experiment thing last night? Fuck, Chlo! I’m sorry for not wanting to give in to your whimsical whims because whatever it is that we have, I want a proper shot at. Not just some stupid experiment._

Beca bit her tongue, deciding against speaking to the redhead about it, not in front of the Bellas, especially not in front of Aubrey—she might just end up being fed to the bears.

“Nothing.”

“No, you don’t think we haven’t all realized you’ve been a little checked out lately?”

_Well, I’m sorry madame, some of us have a future to think of because not all of us have the luxury of staying in college for seven fuckin’ years!_

Again, Beca bit her tongue. She remembered her conversation with Amy a few weeks ago that whatever it was Beca was doing, she was doing it because she was trying to run away from eventually having to let go of all the Bellas, of Chloe. Beca bit her tongue some more.

“Come on Beca, just tell her.” Amy helped.

“I heard that. Tell me what?” Everyone knew they’ve pissed the redhead once she glared at you.

“Oh, you misunderstood me. I clearly said rumpumpum-Beca-pshnaw.” Amy gave Chloe a smile. “Listen, I don’t want you guys to fight. You’re Beca and Chloe, together you’re Bhloe. And everyone loves a good Bhloe. So,” And that was when Amy decided to walk away from the pending fight between the two.

“Okay. I’ve been interning out at a recording studio and a legit music producer wants to hear my work. God forbid, I have something going on outside this group.”

“Okay, so why would you keep something like that from us?”

“Because you’re obsessed! You all are!” And Beca continued on about thinking about the future.

With voices raised, everyone was watching the two co-captains. “This has been my _family_ for seven years.” And Chloe’s face—her eyes staring directly at Beca’s—when she said that, had so much passion in them. Beca had to refrain herself so bad from pinning the older girl against the nearest tree, _Tell me you stayed for me._

Instead, she blurted out, “Yeah, ‘cause you’re too scared to leave. Sack-up-dude!”

Beca knew she had crossed the line. She wasn’t even sure anymore why she was being hostile towards Chloe. She heard gasps from the other girls, Emily walking around in circles not knowing what to do, and Aubrey wanting to stop the fight but not getting the chance to butt in.

“Okay,” Chloe began, “so you’ve been lying to us for the entire year and now you’re just going to flake out? Now when the Worlds is right around the corner, right after graduation?” Beca could feel what wasn’t being said by Chloe out loud, _You’re doing this again. You’re just going to walk out on us after what I’ve done for you ever since you came into Barden like how I fought with Aubrey, my best friend for years just so she could let you back in and trust you with the pitch pipe. That’s what you’re good at, Mitchell. Running away._

Beca having had enough, and not wanting anymore to rile up Chloe because honestly, this Chloe scares her primarily because she’s never seen her this angry before, started walking away. If it weren’t for those damn bear traps, she would have ended up back in Barden, refusing to speak to anyone and who knows what could have happened. But there were those damn bear traps. After a bit of commotion and discussion about corporate ladders and saying sorry to everyone, honestly, Beca wanted to shout to everyone what she’s been carrying inside her for a long time now but thought better of it.

And it was around the campfire, when Chloe told everyone she was finally graduating and when the redhead started singing that song that started it all, her audition song, it broke Beca.

_And I’m leaving tomorrow what do you say?_

Beca could see the pain in Chloe’s eyes, which she really didn’t understand. Chloe’s eyes seemed to be pleading and Beca didn’t know what to do. One minute she’s cold, the next she’s vulnerable.

It was after Amy had cropped dusted Beca and Chloe, after Amy got caught in a bear trap that Beca decided that maybe it’s time. Everyone had begun to walk back towards the camp, Beca gently grabbed Chloe’s arms to pull her aside. She may have seen Aubrey eye her with those hawk-like eyes.

“Hey, Chlo. Can we, uh, talk for a bit?”

Chloe gave her a sweet smile, a smile Beca knew she didn’t deserve because of the things she’d said earlier.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I, uh, um—I just,” Beca gave out a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t even know what came over me earlier.”

“Hey, Becs. It’s fine. I probably deserved it.” Chloe, being Chloe, offered Beca her sweetest smile as if to reassure her.

“No, Chlo. You don’t. I fucked up big time. I’m really sorry.”

Chloe assured her with another smile.

“So, are we okay?”

“Of course.”

And Beca, being Beca, could not find the courage to tell Chloe what she’s been intending to tell her. Instead focuses on something less serious, “So, an exotic dancer, huh?”

They both laughed as they walked back to the campsite.

Baca’s mind has been moving from A to B then A to B again until it’s become a loop. A is telling Chloe how she feels and B is not telling Chloe how she feels. Finally deciding one over the other, she held Chloe’s hand as she stopped her from walking. Chloe looked back at her, afraid that her foot might have been stuck somewhere because you know, Beca is clumsy as hell.

“Chlo, can we talk in private?”

Chloe had a confused look because they just talked but then it softened, “Sure.”

“Um, maybe away from the others. Can we walk to that area?” Beca pointed to a little clearing beyond a group of trees.

“Okay. But, can we not stray from the path? I wouldn’t want to have to climb up a tree to pull you down.” Chloe added a smirk.

“Shut up, Beale.”

“What’s up?” Chloe had asked the younger girl once she decided to stop, that the space was far enough from the other girls. Beca had her back facing Chloe, so the redhead wouldn’t see the flustered look on her face.

“This is harder than I thought,” Beca muttered.

“What is?” Chloe, who was now leaning on of the giant trees in the clearing, had asked.

“Nothing. I--" As Beca turned around to look at the redhead, she realized just how beautiful she is, with the moonlight casting a beautiful glow on her face. And she thought of Chloe’s reaction if she told her what she was supposed to tell her. But then there was nothing. She didn’t know really how Chloe would react, what she would say or do. There was only one way to find out.

“Chloe, I, um…” Beca began. She was about to continue when she had heard the fallen leaves rustling, like someone, or something, was running on them. It wasn’t even walking, it sounded like fast movement.

Beca saw Chloe’s eyes as it showed sudden fear. And in Aubrey’s freakin’ lodge, there was only one thing that would bring about that kind of fear. Bears.

“Guys!” It was Fat Amy running, vertical running, towards them and then past them. “Run!!”

The two, not even thinking about what was going on or where in the world Amy came from, followed her and ran towards the main area of the lodge. Several of Aubrey’s staff had gone out with rifles, apparently with sleep darts as bullets, to sweep the area. This time, Aubrey had given them the key to an actual room, which Amy was very much thankful for.

It was already the next day, as they were about to leave the Lodge when Chloe pulled Beca aside to ask her about last night’s conversation. “You never got to say what you were supposed to say.”

“It’s uh… some other time, Chlo.” Beca squeezed Chloe’s hand for reassurance. The drive back to Barden was quiet, what with everyone being tired. Beca was deep in her thoughts, her fingers busy drumming a beat on her knees. She was trying to think how she could possibly say everything she’s  ever wanted to say to Chloe. If there even was a way.

* * *

It came as a surprise to Emily when Beca invited her to collaborate. She didn’t know what to say, but still agreed to it. In Emily’s mind, how could she decline that. What was she going to tell Beca. “Oh, Beca, I’m sorry, but no. I don’t want to collaborate with you.” She couldn’t do that. Not if she wanted to be banned from the Bella house all of a sudden.

So there she was, inside the recording studio, about to secretly record a song with Beca Mitchell using equipment that wasn’t theirs. Now, Emily is a smart young lady, her parents did raise her well. However, what she wasn’t able to foresee was her using “Flashlight” as her go to song in this period in time, and now she has to record it with her mom who was actually the original writer of the song, just not in this period. Ah, the problems of time travel.

And as Emily began to sing the first few lines of the song, she couldn’t help but remember the first time she’s heard it.

* * *

_“Beca, I know you’re hurting. We are too. But we care about you a lot. I think, one year is enough sabbatical. Chloe would never approve of this.”_

_“Yeah, but Chloe isn’t here.” Beca answered Aubrey as she finished washing the dishes. Aubrey always made time for her and the kids even with her busy schedule, running three lodges across the country._

_Aubrey just gave her a sigh. Beca regretted having said that because really, she’s had to deal with that thought that Chloe was gone every single day of the past year and it’s a struggle for her to not think about that fact._

_“Come on, Beca. Just try to write something. I don’t know. Play the piano. Sing. Anything. You don’t even have to release a song. Just do something.”_

_Ever since Chloe’s passing, Beca had opted to not work on her music, even the management of talents her studio had was given to her right hand man (or woman), CR. It was a surprise move especially given how her career had taken off. Beca had chosen to focus on Emily and raising Maddie. Beca never played favorites, but given the circumstances of Maddie’s birth, she made sure she had all the care and attention she needed. Of course, it was a bonus that she looked a whole lot like her mother, with her bright baby blue eyes._

_And it was after Aubrey’s constant nagging, CR and Stacie’s harassment, Fat Amy’s constant Skype calls whenever she was in Tasmania, and even her dad’s and often times Sheila’s constant reminder, Beca had finally decided to play something. It was an unfinished song, one she stopped composing after the accident. It was supposed to be a gift for Chloe, but then things happened. She began playing on the piano one night. The mood was somber, a light rain was falling outside. The arrangement she had felt sad, as if the song knew what had happened. She saw the door open; it was a surprised Emily. Surprised she was playing again._

_The song’s original purpose was ironically changed. The song had taken a whole new different meaning It baffled Beca how one song’s purpose could change completely, it changed the way she played it, the way she heard it. Everything just changed._

_Her first performance after her hiatus was at an award show where she was nominated for this specific song. She chose a different arrangement, the original arrangement, for the song “Flashlight”. It was slow and intimate, with only the piano as instrument. Everyone in the audience felt her pain as her voice cracked as she sang the first few lines. Everyone knew what had happened._

_When tomorrow comes, I’ll be on my own  
Feeling frightened of the things that I don’t know_

_Beca had asked all the Bellas to sing with her in this performance, afraid to do it alone. Their voices singing together, paired with her arrangement sent shivers down Emily’s spine. It was unbelievably beautiful and painful at the same time._

_As the song was about to end without any accompaniment, Beca had sung the last lines. It was in that moment, upon hearing her voice that Emily knew of the pain she was living with._

_I look around me, and see sweet life_  
I’m stuck in the dark but you’re my flashlight  
Getting me, getting me through the night.

_It was the last time Beca used that arrangement and sung that song live._

* * *

Beca woke up exceptionally early, hoping to get to see a certain redhead before she went for her morning run. When she got to the kitchen, to her suprise, she had just missed Chloe. Another surprise was finding Stacie in one corner of the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream.

“Jesus, Stacie! You scared me!”

“What? I’m the surprise now? Hey, you’re the one who’s up unbelievably early.” Stacie countered.

“Yeah, well..” Beca trailed as she looked at the kitchen door, trying to see if she could catch a glimpse of Chloe.

“You just missed her.”

“What? Who?” Beca tried to act normal.

“Why not try running after her?” Stacie offered.

Beca was about to act stupid and deny whatever Stacie was suggesting, but thought of something better. She immediately went up to her room to grab a pair of sneakers and went outside. She may have heard Stacie mutter something close to “Finally.”, but she wasn’t really sure.

The first few minutes were exhilarating, she felt like she could conquer the world. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Add a few more minutes and she was second guessing herself. Another few more and she was hating herself. _Seriously, what was I thinking?! Chloe is a runner. I’m not. There’s no way I’ll be able to catch--._ And that was when she saw Chloe, who was now walking with her hands resting on her waist.

“Chlo—“ Beca tried to shout, but all that came out of her was huffing  and puffing. And it seemed to have worked because Chloe turned around to see what the noise was. Yes, all that came out of Beca’s mouth was noise, a bunch of incoherent words put together that made up something what normal people would call noise.

“Becs?” Chloe turned around and walked towards her.

“Hey! I, uh… give me a minute.”

“In for three, out for three.” Chloe offered.

“What?” Beca was confused, as she puffed some more. _Cardio is not my thing._

“Just follow me. Inhale for three seconds. Exhale for three.”

And they stayed like that for what felt like hours, but really, it was just five minutes.

“Were you following me?” Chloe finally asked when she felt Beca’s breathing had even out.

“Following you? Pssh—No!” Beca was terrible at lying.

Chloe giggled at Beca’s defiant answer.

“I was, I just, maybe, I just wanted to be a bit healthier. You know, for the Worlds.” Beca offered _._

“Uh-huh.” Chloe giggled again.

And Beca, being Beca, was praying to the aca-gods to spare her of Chloe’s giggling. Because if the redhead giggled one more time, she’d grab her face and kiss her. It’s as simple as that.

“If you want to be healthier, I’ll race you to the house. Last one will do the other’s laundry for 3 days.” And Chloe was off.

“Hey! I haven’t even said yes!” Beca ran after her. “And, madame, I don’t want to die. So let’s stop this madness.” _Damn it. Why does she keep on running away from me?!_

The next time Beca tried her luck with Chloe was during one of their dance practices. They have finally nailed down the musical arrangement, thanks to Emily, Chloe and CR. Now, all they had to work on was the choreography. It wasn’t hard science, especially not the science that Stacie oh so loved. They were simple dance steps, more so because they’ve decided to put the moves of the Bellas of old back. Beca was sure to have mastered them by now, but as with three years ago, it seemed she still had no clue.

So there was Beca acting all frustrated and annoyed at not getting the dance steps. Ideally, it would have been Chloe to the rescue, but she wasn’t paying attention to Beca. She hasn’t been paying much attention to Beca the past few days, really, but it’s not like Beca’s noticing and jotting down notes.

“You know, I thought I knew these steps. But they’re actually really confusing.” Beca tried her luck.

Amy gave her the most perplexed look because really, the steps were so easy even a toddler could do them. “Beca, are you sure you’re confused because these steps are really, really, and I mean, really simple even the dumbest blond alive could do it.”

By this time, Stacie had been covering the areas Chloe hadn’t so she walked towards Beca and Amy. “Midget. If you don’t want me to drown you in your tears, act like the captain that you are and learn these moves!”

And Beca, not wanting to have an angry Stacie by her, fixed herself up and miraculously learned all the confusing dance steps in under a few minutes.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Stacie gleamed.

Beca trying to get Chloe’s attention didn’t stop there. The third time was that one time when she knew Chloe was studying for one of her final exams and she was in charge at the radio booth, she decided to play all of the redhead’s favorite mixes. All it earned her was a thank you the next morning.

And then of course there’s that little secret that Beca does every night wherein she runs for at least thirty minutes to build her stamina so that the redhead won’t be able to run away from her the next time.

There was the fourth time she tried again, when after one of their longer practices, they’ve decided to hit a bar and drink up. When there’s music, there’s dancing. And when there’s dancing, there’s Chloe. Beca may have been closely watching the redhead as she danced her worries away.

“You know, in my country, people who stare at other people that way, they get shot.” Flo offered. Lilly muttered something but Beca wasn’t able to hear. “Yes, Lilly’s right.” Flo apparently did.

Beca decided to leave the two in their crazy world and walked towards the redhead who was now chatting up someone by the bar who looked like someone that needed to be saved from the close-talker that was Chloe.

“Hey, Chlo!”

“Hey Becs. I was just telling Anna here the theory of everything.”

“Okay, let’s just leave everything there and maybe we can walk to our table.” Beca tried to guide Chloe back to where they were seated. “But I was telling her about the theory of everything.”

“Yeah, I know Beale.”

”Then why’d you take me away?”

”You’re drunk.”

“You’re in love with me.”

“What?” Beca felt the world slow down. _Oh no you’re not doing this to me, Beale. I’ve been preparing myself for this moment and you blurt it out just like that? The same way you blurted out Titanium was your lady jam?!_

“Ashley! Let’s dance!” And just like that, Chloe was off dancing with someone else.

The fifth time, Beca made sure she was prepared. She tried running in the morning again but she made sure she was up even before the redhead did. She was already waiting outside when Chloe came out. She may have gotten a bit surprised seeing Beca outside and if it weren’t for the fact that they lived in the same house, Chloe would have thought Beca was stalking her.

“So you’re running now, huh?” Chloe smirked.

“Yeah, a certain redhead may have influenced me towards the right direction.”

And they began running at a pace. Chloe was obviously gauging Beca’s endurance, slowing down if she had to.

“Hey, you don’t have to slow down Beale. I’ve trained for this.”

And Chloe let out a laugh, a laugh that made her eyes glisten; a genuine laugh that brought light to everything. Beca ended up staring at the redhead, creepily I might add.

“You’re staring, Becs.” Chloe grinned at her as she picked up her pace.

And Beca, upon seeing Chloe’s pace had increased, she tried to match it as well. But Beca’s not really one to multitask when it comes to physical activity so she’s not able to mask anything in moments like these. Her sarcasm fails. Her filter is turned off. In this specific moment, it’s as if Beca had been injected with a truth serum. She had heard Chloe say she was staring. And what she told her afterwards felt so automatic. It was because of her inability to multitask that she wasn’t able to put the brakes on her stupid mouth.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re so beautiful.” It sounded almost like a whisper, like a truth that wasn’t supposed to be told to anyone.

Chloe suddenly stopped running. And so did Beca, realizing what she had just said.

There was mist over the lake, the sun was about to rise and Chloe’s face glowed beautifully thanks to the early morning sun. Chloe was breathing through her mouth, not panting, just deeply breathing. Her eyes gave Beca a questioning look. She looked like someone who was at a loss for words which is a first for Chloe Beale.

Beca wanted to backtrack, she wanted to take back what she said. Now that she was just there standing, not doing anything else, her mind was telling her to give a sarcastic remark. _Okay, Beale. No need for a dramatic silence._ Or. _Hey, I’m waiting for a response. How about a you’re so beautiful too, Becs._ But no. She held her ground. She bit her tongue.

“Are you seriously not going to talk?” Beca finally asked, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“I think you know, Chlo. You always have.” Beca was gaining confidence now.

“I don’t—“

“There’s something going on between us. Something that we weren’t quite sure of but it was there. Still is.” Beca stepped a little closer to Chloe, who hadn’t moved a single step.

“Becs, I rea—“

“Like how you enjoy spending weekends in my room. Or how I enjoy spending weekends in your room. Whichever.”

Chloe was staring at her intently, her eyes searching Beca’s.

“Or how you always look for me when I’m not there. Don’t even try to deny it.”

If Beca wasn’t mistaken, Chloe’s eyes were beginning to glisten with tears.

“Or how there’s always a lingering touch. A longing look. Even just a presence. As long as you’re there. As long as I’m there. We’re okay.”

And there it was. The first tear that came out of Chloe’s eyes that morning. She had her arms crossed in front of her.

“Come on, Chlo. I know you know. There’s something here.” Beca pointing to the gap between them, which was becoming smaller and smaller by the minute.

Chloe let out a laugh, a mixture of happiness, sadness and frustration.

 “Beca stop.”

_What?_

“There is nothing _here.”_ Chloe, pointing to the gap between them as she stepped back and slowly walked back towards the house. Beca was stumped. Dumbfounded. If it weren’t for the sunrise hitting her eyes, she would have been left there. “Chloe, wait!” The redhead was slowly running away, so she ran after her.

“Wait up!” “What gives, Beale?!” “Hey!” Beca finally grabbed Chloe’s arm. “Chlo. What the hell?”

“What, Beca?” Chloe was glaring at her.

“What—Why are you being so cold all of a sudden? You think I haven’t noticed you’ve been distant the past few weeks?” It was Beca’s turn to become defiant.

“You’re being unfair, Beca.” Chloe had eyes that could pierce through anyone’s skin, no matter how thick. And Beca may have stepped back a little, afraid of what Chloe could do. This Chloe, this angry Chloe, it scared the shit out of her.

“I don’t understand, Chlo.”

“I gave you everything for three years. I chased you like a lost puppy. I put a hold on _everything._ I put my fuckin’ life on hold for you and there was nothing.”

“Chloe…” To be honest, Beca was speechless.

“Do you know how hard it was for me to explain to my parents that I wasn’t graduating _again_ because I failed Russian Literature, of all courses, for the nth time?”

At that point, Beca felt she only had to listen.

“I put three years of my life on hold for you, Beca. And now—now, you’re just—you’re—just when I’ve decided to move on from you, you show yourself in front of me and—“

“Get a room, dumbasses!” It may have been because of the moment. It may have been because of the sun. They hadn’t noticed the in-coming vehicle suddenly honking at them when it was just three meters away.

“Chloe, I didn’t—“

“Shut it, Beca. I’m tired, okay? I’m tired of following you around. I’m tired of whatever this is.” Chloe said as she mimicked Beca’s actions earlier as she pointed to the gap between them. “I’m done.” And Chloe walks away again.

“Wait! What do you mean you’re done? We haven’t even started anything!” “Hey, come on.” “Chloe, what the hell is happening?”

“What, Beca? What is it that you want from me? What exactly do you want to happen here? Huh?”

There goes the angry Chloe again.

It took a while for Beca to answer, because really, she felt like she mustn’t screw this up. “I want us, Chlo. There. I said it. I want us.” And it sure feels wonderful, having kept it from the world for so long and finally being able to let it out.

Chloe let out a laughter, and then let out a cry of frustration.  After what felt like an eternity of silence, she began to speak with a gentler tone, the Chloe that was closer to the one Beca knew so well.

“Stop it, Becs. Please? Don’t do this to me.”

Beca didn’t know what to say. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it would be a Chloe in pain, a Chloe that was crying. It wasn’t a simple physical pain that she could take care of by taking something. No. It was a deeper kind of pain, an emotional one; one that she had caused.

They had decided to stay by the roadside, in case someone decided to run them over. Chloe had been quiet for a long time when Beca finally decided to speak up.

“Chlo? Do you want this? I just—I’m sorry, I know I’ve fucked up. It’s not all clear to me but I think I’m slowly starting to get it. I just need to know. For my peace of mind, I guess? Do you want this? Do you want us?” And that last part, it sounded more like a whisper, like Beca was too shy to admit or probably too scared to find out the answer.

Beca doesn’t expect much of the world. So when the world tried to reject her, she knew she had to lower expectations. Her plan, if any, wasn’t going anywhere. When she had asked Chloe if she wanted it too, she was shooting for the stars. _Might as well, I’m in deep anyway._ So it was a surprise when Chloe looked at her, her eyes red from tears, her cheeks deep in color, then a small smile formed on her face. It was even a bigger surprise when she nodded and whispered, “You have no idea.”

****


	8. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for updating late but I was in a bit of a writing funk. anyway, I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

The situation was confusing for Beca. It reminded her of Philosophy classes back in freshman year, which she miraculously passed thanks to Chloe. If it weren't for her, Beca may have had to repeat the course every year. Beca wasn't much of a fan of the likes of Kant and Kierkegaard, apparently, Chloe was.

_You have no idea._  Beca was quite sure that that statement was a positive one, but Chloe's facial reaction and given the recent events, she wasn't entirely sure. She could hear the resignation in the older girl's voice as she begged her to stop. She processed her thoughts quietly as she sat on the roadside curb.

After what seemed like an hour of just staying there, sitting on their thoughts and feelings, Chloe finally moved and offered Beca a hand.

"Where are we going?" The smaller girl asked. "Home, silly. We need to practice." And just like that, the bubbly Chloe was back, flashing her mega-watt smile. Getting this Chloe back was supposed to make Beca feel at ease, but also confused the hell out of her. She wasn't going to bring up their confrontation earlier, though, afraid she might push the redhead over the edge. And their current situation made Beca laugh inside. She may not necessarily be fond of movies, it doesn't mean, though, that she doesn't watch any of them. She knows how romantic comedies go, it's supposed to end with a happy-ever-after. So when she decided to just finally let her feelings out, although she won't admit it out loud, she was expecting her own happy ending. Now—she's realized, she may have been a tad bit too late.

As they approached the Bella house, Beca grabbed Chloe's arm and pulled her aside to where the bushes were. She searched the older girl's eyes, careful enough to not get lost in them. Beca didn't actually know what to say. She opened her mouth but no words came out. Chloe was looking at her expectantly.

Beca let out a sigh she didn't even know she was holding. "Just tell me where we're at, Chlo." There was no answer.

"Chlo..."

"Let's focus on the Worlds first, okay?" Chloe finally offered, with a soft and sweet smile to match. Beca searched again, because seriously, this Chloe was confusing as hell. She understands the part where they need to focus on the Worlds, but why not just talk about whatever feelings there were between them.

"Okay", Beca said.  _The suspense will fucking kill me._

Beca entered the kitchen door first, closely followed by Chloe. They were greeted by a cheerful Emily, with Stacie and Flo in a heated discussion about wind turbines. And oh, there was Jesse too.

"Hey guys! Jesse's been looking for you, Beca. So, I entertained him a bit while you were gone." The cheerfulness in Emily's voice was mystifying.

_Seriously?!_ Beca wanted to run away. Fast. But she couldn't because Chloe was right behind her. She could feel the sweat in her hands as Chloe walked past her.

"Hey, Becs. Didn't know you could run?" Jesse laughed at his own statement. There was nothing smug or arrogant with the way he spoke. It was plain kind and nice. It was plain Jesse. So this situation was making Beca feel bad about the past few days and weeks. Months even.

She wanted to speak with him in private but Flo and Stacie were too engrossed in their conversation to consider leaving the kitchen while Emily, she was now beginning to prepare coffee and cookies.

"Yeah, you know. Health is wealth." Beca gave a very uncomfortable laugh. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing, really. I just wanted to drop by before I left. In case, you know, you change your mind."

"Jesse—" Beca was about to snap again if not for Jesse interjecting.

"I'm kidding, Becs." Jesse laughed. "Laugh a little, will you?"

And then there was a sound of saucers crashing. Everyone in the kitchen looked to the direction of the sound, Emily looked back at them. "Sorry! I—shit. I'm so sorry. Continue with your conversations." Emily quickly cleaned up and left.

* * *

Emily was listening to the conversation between Jesse and Beca. Although, if she'll be honest, the other conversation between Flo and Stacie was confusing her ears.

"I think I'd prefer solar power to wind turbines." "Why not both?" "Too expensive to have both." "I'd rather have options." "In my country, options usually mean choosing death or becoming an immigrant and travel the seas undocumented."

When she understood what was not being said in the conversation between Jesse and Beca, she was surprised. She was too surprised that she forgot she was holding a plate of cookies. She immediately left after cleaning up, she was beginning to feel defeat.

* * *

The Bellas were down to the last few weeks of rehearsals before flying to Copenhagen for the Worlds, add to that the fact that they were graduating in two weeks. Chloe was obviously focused on the Worlds, as seen in the way she's been enforcing strict practice hours every day. Chloe is so focused on the Worlds and everything else going on in her life except that one incident that happened.

And it's been boggling Beca's mind, how Chloe was able to do this even with the things that have happened because Beca herself is trying her best to act normal. And she's noticed too, how the redhead tries not to mind her, not at practice, sometimes not even at home. At the end of the day, however, as Beca has seen quite a number of times, Chloe would fail miserably. Take for example that one time after Jesse's visit before he left for New York. Beca was afraid it might have ruined any chance she had with Chloe, if she had any. Later that night, after the girls decided to spend the night at home and watch a movie instead, Beca was surprised that the redhead decided to sit beside her. She did notice, too, how Emily was eyeing them like a hawk, much like how Aubrey would do it if she were there. She did notice, too, how CR was eyeing Emily like a hawk. _Seriously, what is up with those two?_

Beca wasn't one to complain especially when Chloe leaned on her shoulders as the movie progressed, instead she embraced her role. She smelled coconut and vanilla as she let her senses get lost in the redhead's scent. Again, she noticed someone side-eyeing her as the movie went on, it was Amy.

The second time was when she was silently working in the kitchen late one night. Chloe walked in on her as she played some mind-boggling song choices such as Len's "Steal my Sunshine". She may have been silently sulking in the kitchen, afraid of losing Chloe and all that jazz. She didn't notice that Chloe was standing by the doorway, not until she cleared her throat, which made Beca jump out of her seat.

"Jesus!"

"It's Chloe. You'll be surprised to know, I actually get that a lot."

Beca rolled her eyes. "Why are you up so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't sleep. So, I went down here to listen to music."

"Steal my sunshine. Nice choice." Chloe gave her a smirk.

"Hey, don't you dare judge me, madame."

"Who said I was?"

"Your beau—your eyes." For a moment, Beca saw Chloe's eyes light up, sparkled like a star.

Beca watched as the older girl grabbed a glass of water and downed it in 7 seconds. Not that she was counting. She also watched as she walked towards her, closed her laptop and grabbed her by the hand.

"Hey. Where are you taking me?"

"To bed."

"Oh my god, Beale. At least take me out to dinner first."

"You wish."

"No, seriously. Where are we going?"

And just as she finished her question, Chloe turned around with movement so quick that Beca didn't have time to react. "Shhh. Be quiet, you might wake up Em."

"Why are you taking me to your room? I have my own, remember?" She whispered.

"You said you couldn't sleep. Maybe a change of room will help. Now, do you want to sleep here or not?"

Beca waited for 10 seconds, tried to process the pros and cons of sleeping beside Chloe. A full minute of having no pros and no cons, just the thought of Chloe sleeping beside her, she decided to just go with it entering the room even before the redhead. She may have heard her scoff a little.

It's been almost half an hour of just lying there beside Chloe, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. She let out a sigh of frustration because sleep apparently was busy visiting other people except her. It also didn't help that she could hear Emily's light snore. It was light, but it was still a snore. She felt Chloe as she moved to her side and faced her so she did the same.

"Go to sleep, Becs." Chloe whispered.

"I can't. If I could, I would. But I can't, so I shan't. And Ms. Emily over there is snoring, if you haven't noticed."

Chloe let out a soft giggle, her eyes glimmered because of the moonlight. As with every other time that Chloe giggled, Beca was using every ounce of her power to stop herself from surging forward and kissing the redhead.

"You look tense, Becs. No wonder you can't sleep."

Beca was slowly reminded of their  _tent scene_  and was secretly hoping to the aca-gods for Chloe to offer her a backrub or something close to that. So when Chloe did offer her that, Beca wasn't able to hide the goofy smile on her face.

"Wow, Mitchell. Care to hide your excitement?" Chloe mocked.

"Shhh. Be quiet, you'll wake up Emily."

The third time happened as she was about to wrap up a mix while in the kitchen. As soon as she clicked the save button and closed her laptop, Chloe immediately grabbed her hand and led her upstairs to her room. "Okay—this is weird?" Beca broke the silence.

Chloe pushed her inside her shared walk in closet with Amy and told her to get changed, "We're going out."

"Where?"

"Are you asking me what to wear? Or where as in location?" Chloe yelled from the other side of the door.

Beca stepped out still wearing the same clothes. "Where are we going?"

"Oh. Just. Out."

"What do you mean, just out?"

"Let's grab dinner."

"Beale, if you wanted to date me, all you had to do was ask." Beca gave her a smirk as she walked back into the closet and changed clothes. Later that night, after dinner, as they were walking the streets of the city, Chloe wordlessly grabbed Beca's hand and held it in hers. It was another one of those cliché moments that Beca abhorred so much, but in this case as with any other case involving Chloe, it made Beca's heart skip a beat and made her smile.

* * *

Emily has noticed a change with both her parents, Beca and Chloe. Ever since that time when she silently "pushed" for Jesse and Beca to stay together, or get back together,  _whichever,_  she's noticed a difference with how the two ladies interacted with each other.

Chloe seemed a bit more distant, or at least tried to be. In any case, it's very un-Chloe like, if any, it seemed to be more appropriate for Beca. Like, for example, Chloe would usually be all touchy with Beca during practice, but has stayed away for the most part. And it's not just her that has noticed because she has walked in on many conversations in the kitchen or in the living room between Stacie and Amy, sometimes including CR and Ashley even Lilly though no one really understands what she's saying.

Beca, on the other hand, seemed to understand the new dynamic between her and Chloe and has respectfully given the space between them. She's not able to hide whatever feelings she had for the redhead though, as Emily noticed quite a number of times. There was that one time at practice, Chloe was teaching Stacie and Flo some confusing moves and Beca was already fixing her things about to leave for her internship when she noticed the three. When she did, she wasn't able to take her eyes off of them. Although, to be honest, everyone knew it was only one person she was looking at. And inside Emily's head, she was laughing her ass off. Her mother, Beca, was  _so whipped._

Then there was that other time, she was baking in the kitchen late one night, because she's realized it's fun to do that without anyone disturbing her asking her if it's done or if she's baked enough to feed the whole house. She heard the door open, it was Beca back from her internship and she could feel the exasperation when she let out a deep sigh. She didn't expect for Chloe to be sitting in the living room.

"Hey, Becs." Chloe asked.

"Chloe. Why are you still up?"

"I was waiting for you."

"It's two in the morning."

"I know."

It was around that time that Emily peeked through the hallway, and her clumsy feet may have hit some jar on the floor.  _Who puts jars on the floor?_  That was when the two looked at where the noise came from and was surprised to find Emily there.

"Em, why are still up?" Beca had asked.

"Oh, I was—um—baking. I know—it's not normal to be baking late at night, or early in the morning." She gave a nervous laugh. She didn't know how to get out of the awkward situation so she just invited them for some cookies and milk. The three of them ended up having cookies and other pastries in the kitchen, which deliciously smelled of baked goods. Emily watched as the two tried to act distant from each other, but miserably failing.

And it's moments like those mentioned that made Emily question her motives. Whatever the two were going through felt awkwardly painful. She could sense something was going on between them, but couldn't pinpoint as to what. She was slowly beginning to see, that no matter what she did to separate the two, there was still something that would gradually pull them back together. Slowly, she was beginning to accept that she won't be able to change the past in order to save the future.

* * *

Beca didn't normally get jealous, being used to just accepting things as they are. However, when Tom visited the Bella house together with Chloe's family during graduation, she wasn't able to help it. She wasn't even sure it was jealousy, not until it was pointed out by Aubrey who was also visiting.

"Those leaves are dying, hobbit. Stop killing them!"

Beca just looked at Aubrey with eyes of determination.

"Why can't you just process your emotions like a normal human being, Beca?"

She just looked at her, confused as to what Aubrey was trying to get at.

"It's called jealousy, midget. In case you weren't aware."

Beca scoffed. "I'm not jealous! Pssh, who—why—what should I even be jealous of?"

"Uh-huh. Okay, this right here is called processing of emotions. Which reminds me, you should try attending one of my seminars at the Lodge, there's one whole session focused on this processing. What you just did earlier, you know the crushing of leaves? That's how you reacted when you saw Tom being so close to Chloe."

"Bu—"

"Tut-tut-tut. I'm not done. Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong."

"Yeah, right."

Beca just rolled her eyes at Aubrey. She may have ended up staring at Chloe who was laughing at something Tom had said, it must have been funny. And Beca, she may have just rolled her eyes again at the sight.

It was a week before they left for Copenhagen when the two went out to have some coffee trying to unwind from all of life's problems. No, but really, they were just trying to relax after a grueling practice earlier. As they walked back to the house, Chloe held Beca's hand in hers. Beca, who has had enough, let out a frustrated laughter because honestly the whole situation was maddening. Sure, she understood the need to focus on the Worlds but Chloe being all clingy and touchy and everything in that spectrum was making her lose her mind.

"Damn it!" Beca finally snapped. Chloe moved a meter away from her, shocked and perplexed at the same time. "What's wrong, Becs?"

"You! You're what's wrong. Look, I understand if you want to focus on the Worlds. I understand if you don't want to talk about feelings, but help me out here. Because whatever the hell this is, it's confusing the hell out of me."

This reminded Beca of her first exchange with Chloe, the one exchange that started this confusing stage between them. And Beca was at her wits end. No, she didn't want to scare Chloe, she didn't want to sound too arrogant, because really, it was Chloe who had been waiting for three years. She had been the one who put her life on hold. But Beca can only take so much and she wanted answers so bad. She wasn't one to invest emotions if she knew there was no return.

"Bec—"

"No, Chloe. I want answers. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as self-centered right now, but really, I just—I want, no. I. Need. Answers."

Chloe let out a sigh. Honestly, Beca was afraid the redhead could just flip on her, or run away and never to hear from again, but Chloe just let out a sigh, a very deep one.

"Talk to me, Chlo. What is going on between us? What is  _this?_ "

Chloe couldn't answer.

"Okay, let me help you out. You tell me to focus on the Worlds, to set aside whatever this is until the Worlds is over. So if I understood you correctly, you don't want to think about it yet. But then you're hot, then you're cold. I mean, you're always hot. You know that. But I digress." Beca couldn't help getting distracted by the beauty that is Chloe Beale.

"One minute you're not talking to me. The next minute you ask me to sleep in your bed. You cuddle up to me when watching a movie. You watch me as I make my mixes. Don't even try to deny it, I saw you. What gives, Beale. What is going on between us?"

"I don't know, Bec." Chloe let out another sigh. It seems that's all she could do right now.

And Beca, not knowing anymore what to do, what to ask, how to phrase questions, felt all the frustration inside her and just let it out. "Fuck. What do you feel about me, Chloe? "

Beca's eyes were ice cold, staring at Chloe, daring her to answer. An intimidated redhead responded, in the whispers of whispers, "You make me feel things, Becs."

And Beca just stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate, to tell her more.

"My heart beats faster when you come into a room. It doesn't look like it, but it does. There's this urge that I feel every time you're near me, like, I just want to be beside you or touch your hand or just feel your skin on mine." Chloe stepped a little closer to Beca, who was now nailed to the pavement.

With the redhead that close to her, she was suddenly aware of her breathing, of where her hands were, if her eye make-up had smudged or if she had brushed her teeth earlier.

"Tell me you want me, Chlo." It felt almost like a whisper.

Chloe searched Beca's eyes, saw her dark steel blue eyes staring back at her with so much want. She stepped forward, closing the gap between them and whispered, "I want you, Becs. I've wanted you since I met you at the Quad. I've wanted you since we sang in the showers. I've wanted you ever since you sang your audition song. I've wanted you, so bad, for three long years."

"Then what's stopping you?"


	9. nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nearing the end of the story, with 2 or 3 more chapters to go. If you're still reading this story, thank you very much. :)  
> I'm slowly tackling some of the problems I've created because of the time traveling factor, which I think, I'm not doing enough justice in this story.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter.

 

Emily's been pacing her shared room with Chloe for almost half an hour. She's been thinking of her recent life decisions, like, trusting a complete stranger and accepting a time machine chip to travel back in time, and how it has or will affect the overall flow of things. Her moral crisis was happening at the wrong time.  _What if I got it all wrong. What if I'm just wasting opportunity here, in this period, and I can't and won't be able to make much of a difference._ Maybe it was all a matter of acceptance, of the things she can and cannot control. She remembered her conversation with Aunt Amy one afternoon, which unbelievably made everything seem simpler.

"Hey Legacy. You're looking blue."

"What do you do when you're trying to stop something from happening? Like preventing the inevitable."

"Oh, okay. Skip the pleasantries and jump to the discussion. Straight to the point. I see. First, thank you, Legacy, for coming to me for advice—"

"But I didn't—You walked—"

"Shhh. Let the wise one speak. As I was saying, you don't stop the inevitable from happening. One, because, duh, it's inevitable. Two, it's like taunting the gods, going against their power or some shit. So, I say, don't even try. My cousin's best friend, who was a fire dancer, tried to do that once, prevent the inevitable. She was burned in one of her performances. Though, I think, it was because of clumsiness. Anyway, just accept that some things you can't control. They're just bound to happen. Sometimes, you're so focused on stopping something from happening or making something happen, whatever, you forget to notice what's in front of you. Just saying."

_Damn it, she's wise_. Emily's been so busy trying to think of ways to keep Chloe alive, she failed to notice that Chloe was alive and kicking in front of her. She used to wish to the gods to give her one more day to spend with her mom, and yet, here she was, spending days and nights with her but was still focusing on something else.

Maybe the point of going back wasn't to change the now she lived in, instead it was to be in the now, for her to see her parents both alive and happy together. Or not. They were really confusing her with their hot and cold treatment. Acceptance was easier than trying to fight things. It would be painful, but she's been there before. It won't be so bad. She at least had Beca and Maddie back home.

She was already seated on Chloe's bed as she contemplated when she noticed the white envelope, the one that came in the mail weeks ago. She wasn't sure if finding out what it was would be a good life choice, but sometimes, it's easier to just go with the flow.

After reading the letter, she wasn't sure what to feel. How in the world was this new knowledge going to fit in the greater scheme of things? A few minutes later, she felt it again. There was shift, a tectonic shift? An earthquake? She quickly went outside her room to find Lily squatting. She didn't seem to have felt the earthquake. No one did.

* * *

Flying to Denmark scared Emily, but only because she had no passport. She was hesitant at first, but when she realized that she had no other choice, she asked Lily for help. The Asian girl did deliver, providing her a passport with no questions asked, which she was really thankful for. And that may have helped solidify her bond with the silent girl.

Now, the trip to Denmark, was something else. Everyone was scrambling and fighting because they were about to miss their flight. All thanks to Amy's secret concoction that came all the way from Tasmania which they all had the night before. Come to think about it, it wasn't really such a good idea to be drinking the night before an early flight. They woke up an hour before the flight, to the sound of the service van they rented to bring them to the airport honking loudly, enough to wake up the campus police who were housed a good two miles away. It was like a scene from a movie Emily used to watch as a kid, it's a pretty old movie where the whole family was about to leave for a vacation when just like them, they forgot to wake up on time. There they were, running like mad dogs inside the Atlanta airport, hoping to the aca-gods they don't miss their damn flight.

It was very much unlike Chloe to keep her composure under such circumstances but very much like her to take control, taking all their passports and handing it over to the lady over the counter. It was a good thing they were trying to catch a flight, then Emily's passport won't have to be scrutinized every time. The flight felt like a whole family affair, with her seated beside Chloe who was seated between her and Beca. The two were acting different, acting all sweet but with hesitation. There was something off between them, but Emily couldn't pinpoint what it was. It was like that the whole time, even after having arrived in Denmark, having spent one day to see the city and preparing themselves for the big performance.

As they were about to enter this seedy looking restaurant that promised to serve anything but fish, Emily noticed a bit of a commotion outside, a group that sounded pretty much like DSM. It was DSM. The tall man was right in the middle of the group, Pieter, doing dance moves that were surprisingly good given his size. And as he looked at Emily, the girl was reminded of something, something that she couldn't identify. The man looked familiar, from somewhere she couldn't really remember. She set aside the thought as she joined the other Bellas inside the restaurant.

Everyone decided that drinking that night wouldn't be the best idea because the Worlds was happening the next day and that sleeping early would give them an early start. They learned their lesson from their flight to Denmark.

_I'm going to kill your mom after this. She's supposed to be here and she isn't._

_The drive felt crazy and fast. Maybe too fast. The road was dark. Emily was scared, but not really, she knew they were going to arrive at the hospital in time and in one piece. Chloe was acting really crazy, but she's been crazy her whole pregnancy. Emily knew her mother was still in control. She was going to give birth in a hospital. That was what was important._

_Then something suddenly appeared on the road. Emily was startled, thinking it was a moose or something close to that. But as they drove closer, she could see that it was a man. A tall man. A very tall man. A tall man appearing in the middle of the road? What sorcery was this?_

_Mom, look out!_

_Just like that, Emily grabbed the wheel and turned it. And it was pitch black._

Emily woke up with a sudden jolt and heavy panting. She tried to remember all the details of her dream, which wasn't really a dream. It was exactly what had happened. And then she remembered, the tall man in the middle of the road.  _The tall man in the middle of the road. The tall man in the middle of the tall man that sold her the time chip. The tall man from DSM. Wait, what?_

Beca was irritated the whole flight, and when she's irritated it shows—in her body language, in her face—everything just screams irritated Beca. It was pure chance she got the seat beside the redhead, the one person she wanted to sit beside but didn't want to. Yes, they were back there again. It was back to square one. And it didn't help that the flight was experiencing turbulence, every time the aircraft shook she had to hold on for dear life—which at that point was her seat's arm rest. It was a good half hour of suffering through ill-timed turbulence when she felt a soft, warm hand cover hers—which were pale and had a deathly grip on the armrest.

She opened her eyes and looked at her hand and the hand of Chloe, and Chloe herself giving her a reassuring smile. Emily was humming to some song in her head and was glancing out the window.  _That girl, sometimes, she's too oblivious with what's happening to the world. The world could be crumbling and it's nothing to her._

"You make me feel safe, Chlo." Beca whispered, out of the blue.

Chloe looked at her, and her blue eyes searched her, as if to check if what she was saying was true.

"I'm just saying." Beca offered another whisper. It felt awkward so Beca decided to just stare at the seat in front of her.

It was another half hour of nothing but silence, the occasional screaming child, the sound of Amy requesting for more peanuts and a whole lot of Chloe's hand on hers when finally the redhead decided to speak. "I know you're mad at me." She whispered in Beca's ear which gave the smaller girl goosebumps at the back of her head.

"I'm not mad, Chlo. I can never—I'll—I can't stay mad at you. Plus, it's not my place to get mad."

"You're not speaking to me."

"Only because I can't process what's happening, what more the feelings that go along with it."

Chloe smiled at her, it wasn't a beaming smile but a sad one. "I'm sorry for making you feel this way."

"It's—hey, it's not your fault."

"Can we go back to normal? Back to talking?"

Beca looked at the redhead, studied her face, then her eyes and contemplated on whether she can do this. "Yeah, sure. Of course."  _Who am I kidding. Of course we can go back to normal. Anything for you._

And just like that they were speaking again, back to laughing and joking around. Everything felt normal and everything felt right. They even won the worlds to everyone's surprise, but mostly to Beca's relief.

It wasn't winning if there was no celebration and in Denmark, no less. Stacie and Amy took charge in looking for the best place to do this so that they could celebrate their asses off. It was a hard earned win against stiffly synchronized Germans and other nationalities. Beca was opposed to wasting their night away, afraid it might cause another scene similar to Amy's wrecking ball mishap and in an international setting at that. She was afraid they might not be able to return to their homeland ever, but she couldn't really do anything when it was Amy speaking.

They arrived in the area, an empty parking lot with only one building to the right and a conspicuous neon sign stating its name. The neon sign was a good enough indicator that they were in the right place. As they entered the building, they were greeted by loud beats and techno sounds.  _Yup, right place._  Beca found the place okay.

They had their first obligatory shots,according to Amy, as they sat down on their table. "They're not obligatory drinks," Amy had told the group. "They're congratulatory shots." "Uh-huh, okay. If you say so, Amy." Beca answered.

She was careful not to get too drunk, to at least make sure they all got back to the hotel in one piece and none of them sold to slavery. Beca's read somewhere it was a thing in Europe. Emily was with Flo and Aubrey, who had decided to go party with them because according to her, the bears back at the lodge were stressing her out. Okay, Em is in good hands. Stacie was busy riding a—is that a broom? Jessica and Ashley were giggling over something while seated closely on the couch. Amy, well, she was busy arm wrestling a woma—wait, that's a man dressed in a wedding gown? CR was with Chloe, dancing on the dancefloor, and her eyes stared as the redhead moved perfectly to the beat of the music.

Someone cleared her throat beside her, it was Aubrey.

"Hey, Aubrey."

"Hi Beca."

And then there was silence. "This dead air between us is a good sign. Good to know you haven't changed."

Aubrey scoffed. "I saw you staring."

"I wasn't staring! Why would I stare at you?" Beca felt ridiculed.

"Not at me, hobbit."

"Yeah? Who then?"

"Don't play games with me, midget. You're gonna lose."

"Hey. Flo is smaller than me, I don't hear you dissing her height?"

Flo had overheard their conversation and joined in. "Great. I'm a minority and vertically challenged. Thank you very much, Beca."

"Come on, I didn't—" But Beca's pleas weren't heard as Flo had gone back to dancing.

Aubrey was right, she was going to lose. She knew what Aubrey was implying. And she wasn't in the mood to have _the talk_  with Chloe's best friend. She's sure the tall girl knows, fully aware of how close the two are and how often they chat over Skype. By this time, Chloe had finished dancing and found herself seated between Aubrey and Beca after having ordered tequila shots. Beca was hesitant but Chloe was persistent so she had no other choice but to drink. Four shots later, her mind was foggy, her vision slowly spinning and her mouth was moving on its own spitting words that were either incoherent or would bring her to shame.

"Cockroach is water for healing." "My dad is your dad. And my dad is your mom." "Give us us free." "You are nothing but a second rate, trying hard, copy cat."

This is the second reason why Beca tried to stay away from alcohol. She can't handle it. Aubrey was silently laughing as Beca spurted word after word, senseless sentences, and all while her hands flailed as if to help out in proving whatever point she had. Chloe was giggling to herself, mostly because Beca was making a fool of herself. And Beca, she could see what was happening but the alcohol was inhibiting her from doing anything about it. Her thought process went on like this – "I have to stop my hands from flailing too much." "I need to stop spurting out useless words. Chloe is laughing at me." "Oh! Cockroaches!" "Copy cats!" "Freedom!"

"Chloe." Beca, with seriousness in her voice, whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Your eyes are off the hooooook!"

Chloe giggled at Beca's antics. "Becs, I think you're drunk."

"And I think you're beautiful."

"I know."

"I'm going to tell you a secret." Beca whispered again.

"Hm?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"I promise."

"I like you."

"So I've heard." Chloe was biting her lower lip to prevent herself from laughing.

"Yeah? I bet you haven't heard this."

"Heard what?"

"You look hot in your dress."

"Thanks."

"You know what else?"

"What?"

"I want to kiss you." And Chloe was stumped; nope, she didn't have a retort to that one. Beca had a soft smile on her lips, but her eyes were far from smiling. They were dark as steel and looked at her hungrily. It took everything in Chloe's power to stop herself from doing anything.

It became a different story, though, when Amy decided that everyone should get drunk except for Aubrey who was going to make sure everyone got back to the hotel safely. Amy wanted everyone, in her words, "Wasted like a waste basket in a fishing boat stranded in the Baltic Sea." And what Amy wants, Amy gets. That is why, almost an hour later, Chloe was swaying from side to side, dancing to the music of the club, but could also be dancing to a beat inside her head.

The club's song choices, which interestingly turned American, with a mix of Bow Chicka Wow Wow and some upbeat techno music, as the night came. The mix was good, something Beca could probably make herself, especially after seeing how Chloe reacted to it. She was slowly moving to the song's beat, expertly swaying her body to the high's and low's of the song. Beca stared at her expectantly, her eyes slowly wandering to Chloe's swaying hips, her mind giving her images that would be too stimulating for her liking, her breath hitching and her palms getting sweatier with every movement.

Sure, Beca's judgement was clouded by alcohol but there was a strong sense of respect emanating from inside her. The night could have turned a whole lot different had they decided to act on anything. Of course, later that night, Beca would dream about it and mentally scold herself for not pouncing on the situation. Later in the morning, Beca would again mentally scold herself for even thinking of pouncing on the situation given that Chloe was drunk.  _Not cool, Mitchell._

On the flight back to the US, as Beca sat beside Chloe (again), she suddenly had a vague memory of what transpired in the club, her wanting to kiss the redhead and telling her about it. She turned to the woman beside her and stared until she caught her attention. As Chloe looked at her, with a soft smile on her face, Beca couldn't help it as her eyes slowly dropped to the redhead's lips. And as if the older girl understood what Beca was thinking, she gave Beca's hand a gentle squeeze and offered an apologetic smile.

"Right." Beca muttered to herself.

* * *

_"Then what's stopping you?"_

_"I'm stopping me, Beca."_

_"You? What—Why? Wait, what?"_

_"I'm stopping myself."_

_"I heard you. Why?"_

_"I don't know, Becs. I just—"_

_"What do you mean, you don't know. I don't understand Chloe." Beca was raising her voice now._

_Chloe had her arms crossed. "Becs, you need to calm down. I won't talk to you if you're not."_

_Beca let out a laughter and with a calmer voice, she said, "You have got to be kidding me. This is not happening, Chlo."_

_Chloe nodded her head to the side and offered an apologetic smile._

_Oh god. She is serious. Beca thought to herself._

_"Didn't you just say you wanted me? I'm confused."_

_Chloe was now the one who let out a laugh._

_"You're scaring me Chlo."_

_The redhead held Beca's hands and looked at her tenderly. "I do, Becs. I really do. And I would want us to give this a chance because trust me, I've wanted that for three years."_

_"Then why do this? Why the change?"_

_"Remember I told you I put my life on hold for three years? I don't want that anymore."_

_"You're not going to put it on hold any—"_

_Chloe cut her off with her finger on her lips. Her finger felt so soft, it distracted her from thinking about anything else. When Chloe put her finger down, Beca felt a sudden emptiness. God, this woman._

_"You don't get it, Becs. I waited for you for three years. I did all those because of you. Now, I want to do things for me. I want to do things because I want to. Not for anyone, but for me."_

_Beca opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't. She was speechless. She was trying to wrap her thoughts around what she was feeling. With defeat in her voice, she whispered as she looked at her hands being held by the woman in front of her. "I don't understand. Do what, Chlo?"_

_"I failed Russian Lit., three times, to stay a Bella, to stay in Barden. To stay with you. I don't want that anymore."_

_"Yeah, you're graduating."_

_"In that time—in those three years, Becs—I lost so much of myself."_

_"To what?"_

_"To you. For a time, I didn't know anymore what to do with myself. Now I do. And I want to pursue that."_

_"But what does it have to do with me? I'm not stopping you from doing what you want. I'd never do that—at least not intentionally."_

_"I know, Beca. This is hard to for you to understand, but, just—can you trust me?"_

_"You're asking me to just let go of everything, Chloe. How can I even—"_

_"I want to heal from you, Becs. I don't trust myself with you."_

_"Why do you not—I really don't understand—" The frustration could be heard in Beca's voice._

_"Okay, if I give us a chance, I don't trust myself enough to be able to pursue the things that I want to do. You make me weak, Becs. I'm afraid that when there's an 'us' already, there will be a 'you' but there won't be 'me'. I'd always end up doing things for you. That's why I want to do things for me this time."_

_"I really don't understand." There was defeat in her voice._

_"Let me heal from you, Becs."_

_Beca looked at her with confusion in her eyes. She closed her eyes, wanting to just shut everything out because here she was, being rejected by the one person she wanted to be with. And then she understood. She remembered Chloe as she sang her audition song, Chloe telling her she can sing anything she wanted. She remembered Chloe as she showed interest in the mash ups she created even when her best friend, Aubrey, was adamant they focus on what needed to be done. She remembered Chloe opting to give her her own solo in one of their performances. She remembered Chloe as she skipped one of her date nights to be with her during her finals in Philosophy. She remembered Chloe every time she would give way to Jesse for his moviefication dates. She remembered Chloe forgiving her even after she took out her stupid frustration on her, not to mention lying to her._

_She understood. Everything Chloe did was for her and she was too blind to see it. Just then, she felt lips gently press against her forehead._

_"Let me heal from you, Becs."_

* * *

Beca woke up to the ground shaking. And then she realized she was on a plane, it turns out there was a rough patch in the air, a turbulence the pilot had said. She looked at Chloe who was seated beside her and remembered her dream, which wasn't really a dream because it was more of a reminder. A reminder of what had happened shortly before the Worlds and most importantly, a reminder of her place in Chloe's life.

* * *

It was the second night after they had gone back to the US, to the campus and the Bella house. They were all leaving in a week's time, going their separate ways. CR was getting married in Maine in a few months and everyone was invited. Fat Amy was going back home to Tasmania for a few weeks before starting her internship at Aubrey's lodge. "She has potential to train about confidence and carrying one's self in a corporate setting or bouncing back from failure, whichever,", Aubrey told Chloe once. Flo had to go back to Guatemala but promised to come back for CR's wedding. Ashley and Jessica were both moving to California. Stacie was mulling over pursuing a PhD or start earning her dues because she was already being recruited by a reputable pharmaceutical company. Lily was secretive. Emily was staying behind, or at least that's what they thought.

Beca was too busy packing clothes from the walk-in closet she shared with Amy that she didn't notice Chloe enter her room. The door to the closet slowly opened which startled the smaller girl.

"Jesus!"

"It's Chloe. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Shut it. You know what I mean."

Chloe offered her a smile. A smile that wasn't shy and wasn't too happy. A smile that just screamed Chloe.

"Why are you here?"

Chloe didn't answer, but was holding her gaze as if mulling over something.

"Chlo?"

"Beca?"

Beca wasn't able to answer immediately because Chloe stepped a bit closer. And whenever she does that, Beca freezes to her spot. "Hm?" It sounded almost like a whisper.

"I don't want you to think too much over what I'm about to do."

"What do yo—?"

Chloe's hands slowly reached for Beca's face as she whispered, "I want to kiss you."

Beca gulped, "Yeah?", all while Chloe brushed her thumb on her face

"I'm going to kiss you."

"But what about heali—"

"Shhh." Chloe's lips were hovering just millimeters away from Beca's, the sensation driving the smaller girl crazy. And then the redhead seductively whispered, "Don't think, just do."

"Fuck it."


End file.
